


The Rain Came Pouring Down

by queenC_13



Series: Rain Came Pouring Down [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Family, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-04 21:40:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 24,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4153962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenC_13/pseuds/queenC_13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma and Regina have spent the past year working on Operation Mongoose. Emma has fallen in love with Regina and is sure Regina loves her back... until a surprise shows up from the recent past. Total angst warning, with a happy ending. Regina/Robin Hood in the background (not endgame), brief Emma/Lily</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written as a oneshot then continued on ff.net; I decided to post it over here as well. I will probably be posting a new chapter every day, or every other day. Enjoy :)

"So this is it?" Emma cried. "You're just going back to him like nothing ever happened between us?"

"Nothing ever  _did_  happen Miss Swan," Regina said with a resigned sigh. "You just need to let it go and move on."

Rain was pouring down around them, soaking both women to the bone. However, in the heat of the moment, neither seemed to notice.

Heartbroken, Emma just stared at Regina for a moment. She couldn't even describe everything she was feeling. Nausea, pain… anxiety? She couldn't breathe. Oh God, she really couldn't breathe.

A loud ringing made itself apparent in Emma's ears as she gasped for breath. Black spots were swirling in front of her vision as she struggled, unable to focus. A hand broke through the haze, gingerly placed on her back. Slowly, a voice came back to her; Regina's voice.

"C'mon, breathe," it was saying. "In… 2… 3… Out… 2… 3…" Emma focused on the voice, following its commands, letting the black spots fade away. Eventually the panic attack, as Emma had come to realize it was, subsided.

"There you go Miss Swan," Regina said, moving to help them both up.

A pang shot through Emma's chest again at the name.  _Miss Swan_. Regina hadn't called her that in a year. Not since before they started Operation Mongoose.

 _To get Regina her happy ending_ , Emma thought miserably.  _And it's not with me_.

The weight of everything that had happened in the past year started collapsing onto Emma, almost throwing her into another panic.

 _No_ , she thought.  _Regina cannot get the satisfaction of breaking me_.

She steeled her shoulders back and met Regina's gaze with a defiant glare. Numbness was washing over her, not quite protecting her feelings, but hiding them for now.

"Do you love him?" Emma finally asked, a déjà vu of a conversation three years earlier passing over her.

An emotion passed through Regina's eyes, giving Emma the satisfaction of Regina knowing the significance of the question as well, before her gaze hardened.

"Of course I love him," Regina spit out her words from three years prior, and although Emma still didn't believe them, she had no fight left. Instead, she gave a brisk nod, before turning back the way she came.

Her new apartment wasn't far from Regina's mansion, a fact that once brought great joy but now more pain. The rain was still crashing down, obscuring Emma's vision so much that she wasn't sure what was the rain and what were her tears.

She made it to her apartment, but didn't get further than the couch before collapsing in a fit of ugly sobs. She was gasping for breath, unable to do anything but curl up and try to let this pass. Her body felt as if it was in actual, physical pain—like a hole had been ripped from her chest. Or maybe that was just her heart.

Memories of the past year swirled in front of her.

The two had grown considerably closer while searching for Regina's happy ending; long nights spent trying to find the author of the book and weekly "family" dinners that turned into an almost nightly occurrence. The few times Emma fell asleep at the mansion while they worked late before Regina finally just allowed Emma to sleep in her bed with her.

Nothing had specifically happened between the two, but the feelings were there… at least Emma had thought so. And Henry had as well.

_"_ _It's okay you know," Henry had said._

_"_ _What's that?" Emma answered, tearing her gaze away from Regina doing the dishes after dinner._

_"_ _That you love my mom," Henry replied matter of factly. "And she loves you too. At least… she never looked that happy with Robin."_

Robin… the person who had now come back, and without his wife. Ready to start things right back up again with Regina without even a mere apology for the way he strung her along before.

A fire raged in Emma's heart, hatred for Robin swirling around.

 _How can he love her more than me?_  Emma thought darkly. She had always been saving Regina; always, even when they "hated" each other. They understood each other… for Emma; there could be no one else.

Sure, she tried to be with Hook, but once Operation Mongoose really took off Emma knew that she could never truly be happy with him. He was more of a brother than true love.

Regina was true love, Emma was sure of it. The two flirted frequently, and since Regina's birthday was approaching Emma was planning on finally asking Regina on a date and then confessing her feelings. That was all that was really left to reveal at this point, besides finally kissing her and engaging in… more exciting activities. But what Emma really looked forward to was just having someone to be with, finally. Someone to love and know that they loved just as fiercely back. Someone to make a family with.

But now, Emma was left with nothing. She should have seen this coming, but up until a week ago things had been fine. Emma had taken Henry on a trip to New York to see his old friends, while Regina had to stay back in Storybrooke because she still couldn't cross the town line. The separation had been difficult, but the two had made it work by texting and talking on the phone almost constantly. Even Henry thought it was overkill, but they had grown used to seeing each other every day after being alone for so long.

Then one day, Regina's replies had just… stopped.

She was reading Emma's messages, but didn't respond. And then, she wasn't even reading them anymore. Emma could clearly remember their last conversation. She had taken Henry and some friends to the zoo that day, and was pretty exhausted and cranky. She had selfishly taken that attitude out on Regina, as the two of them still tended to do, but that was when Regina stopped answering.

Emma thought maybe she just needed to cool off, but the next day the cold shoulder continued. Yet Henry was still getting messages from his mother, and she was acting totally normal towards him, so Emma knew that nothing was wrong.

**Why are you ignoring me?**

**Please talk to me.**

**Whatever I did, I'm sorry. Please can you just tell me what's wrong?**

All texts Emma had sent to Regina, all went unanswered. So as a last resort, she finally sent Regina one last text, confessing all of her feelings. That she thought she had loved people before, but never really understood what it was about until she met Regina. That she just wanted to talk, and wanted to keep a relationship no matter what. But that message hadn't even been read. Regina had either deleted it or just left it unread in her phone.

So Emma had come back. She had dropped Henry off with David and Mary Margaret, and went to the mansion to finally work things out. Only Regina hadn't opened the door. It had been Robin. A partially clothed Robin. Followed by a partially clothed Regina.

If Emma thought she had known heartbreak before, she was wrong. While giving up Henry was the hardest thing she had ever done, losing Regina would be harder, because Emma had Henry back now but she would never have Regina again.

 _You never even really had her_ , her mind reminded her.

The rain had begun immediately, as the wind had literally been knocked straight from Emma's chest. Followed by the pain of Regina rejecting her. Without even hearing Emma's argument outright.

 _"_ _Of course I love him,"_ Regina's voice echoed throughout Emma's mind.

Emma's cries were dying down, but the pain in her chest wasn't lessening at all. She knew what her mom would say—time would make it better. But Emma didn't think so. Time couldn't heal the pain of losing your soul mate, of that she was sure.

But she had to move on. She had to try, for Henry… and for herself. Because she deserved better, she knew.

Tomorrow she would talk to her parents, and talk to Henry. Maybe convince Hook to take her out sailing as a distraction.

But for now, Emma just had to wait for the rain to stop.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma writes her first letter to Regina confronting her feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I originally wrote this I thought the entire story was going to be letters, however after this chapter it alternates between letters like this and actual scenes, so the other chapters are longer than this. Hope everyone still enjoys :)

Dear Regina,

I'm not really sure why I'm writing this since you'll never see it, but Mary Margaret says I need to get my feelings out. She's the one who found me last night. I guess you texted her to check on me, but that doesn't make any sense either. I don't get it Regina. I mean I know we never had anything concrete, but I know you felt it too. I love you, and I thought you loved me. I just don't get-

Ugh. I don't even want to write his name on here. He treated you like shit Regina, and now you're just back with him like nothing ever happened? You're better than that. You are a queen and you deserve to be treated as such. I would treat you like a queen…

Henry agrees with me too, you know. He doesn't want to get into it with you, but he doesn't understand what happened. I know you think he's too young, but our son has always been smart and mature for his age. He's at least smart enough to know true love when he sees it (god knows that's what happens when you're apart of this family), and he also knows that Robin isn't it.

I mean seriously, you're going to listen to some fairy dust that showed you your "destiny" when you were what, like 18 years old? Bullshit Regina. He doesn't know you at all. You're not even the same person you were back then. Seriously, does he know that contrary to what everyone thinks you're not a morning person and need black coffee every morning before you can really function? Does he know that despite that you would get up an hour earlier every morning to make sure breakfast was on the table for Henry, and then me when I stayed over?

Does he know that you get cold really easily, and like to keep a lot of blankets around the house? That you have a hidden one in your office that nobody sees? Does he know that you love scary movies, but only if you have a hand to hold during the suspenseful parts? Does he know that you hate being sick, but secretly love being taken care of? I know you Regina, really and truly. And I don't know why you're doing this and I'm not sure I can ever move on.

Briefly I thought about dating Killian again, but I think even he would see right through that. He took me sailing today, something Mary Margaret said about being a distraction, but it just wasn't the same. We banter but it lacks the chemistry that I'll always want to strive to get back. He also told me that I "looked like a bloody banshee" so I guess I'm not hiding my feelings as well as I used to. That's your fault you know—you wrecked me. You made me open myself up and now I don't know how to close off again.

I wish I could for Henry. I hate having him see me like this. He's always had two strong mothers, and now one of them has completely fallen apart. I don't think he minds so much, damn kid, but I know he's worried about me. I want to move on, I really do, I just feel like I'm dying inside. I can't breathe, and every time I think about it everything gets worse.

I wish I could run, too, like I used to. But that's also been ruined. I have Henry and my parents and little Neal… and you. Even if you're not mine, and you never were mine, I'm still yours. I'll always be yours Regina.

This hasn't really helped, but maybe I'll keep writing to you. All I want to do is talk to you, but it seems this is as close as I'm going to get.

With love, still

Emma


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma: one week post-chapter one  
> Warnings: some profanity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured I would post another chapter tonight, since the last one was pretty short. :)

Emma ducked out of her apartment, sunglasses slipped on her face to cover her now perpetually baggy eyes. Against her mother's nagging, she had hardly left the apartment all week because there was no way she would be able to confront Regina in this state. Even though she felt anything but strong, she still had a front to put up.

Getting in the bug as quickly as she could, she took back roads all the way to the station, by passing Granny's and hoping David could be persuaded to pick her up some coffee and grilled cheese later.

She made her way into the station, only slipping off her sunglasses once she was inside and away from the glare of the sun. A low whistle to her left caused her to look over and see that instead of her father sitting at his desk, Killian was there instead.

"Don't even say it," she snapped, not in the mood for his comments about how she looked today.

He smirked and made a show of looking her up and down, taking in her old leggings and wrinkly t-shirt—while she was making strides in coming back to work, she still didn't feel like dressing in her normal clothes just yet. Sensing the real seriousness of her tone, however, Killian just zipped his exaggeratedly and threw away the pretend key.

Emma rolled her eyes before collapsing at her desk in a huff, "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I've been taking over the night shift this week while you sulk around in your bed, love," Killian replied in his usual jaunty tune.

"Killian," she warned, before she was interrupted by another voice.

"Quit harassing my daughter, Hook," David commanded as he strode into the station, although there was a glint in his eye.

Getting out of David's chair, Hook pat his friend on the back before responding, "Apologies, mate. You know I hold the princess in only the highest regard," he said while he shot a sly wink at Emma. "Now how would you like me to bring you your blessed chocolate drink, Swan?"

Emma shot him a grateful smile as he left the station without another word, and then looked to her father who was staring at her with a scrutinizing expression.

"I bet you're at least glad I didn't choose him, huh?" she tried to joke, with her tone falling just a bit flat.

"Emma-"

She sighed, "I'm fine."

"…"

"Okay obviously I'm not fine, but I'm here, aren't I?" she replied with a huff.

David moved over to his daughter, kissing her on the forehead before cupping her face. "You will be fine," he reassured. "You're the strongest woman I know, and while none of us know what made Regina change her mind so abruptly, it doesn't change the fact that you will get through this, alright?"

Emma nodded, closing her eyes to conceal the tears shining behind them. Sensing her discomfort David finally moved to his own desk, letting Emma compose herself. After a moment a soft chuckle gained his attention.

"Strongest woman you know, huh?" Emma joked. "How would Mom feel about that?"

"You wouldn't dare," David narrowed his eyes. "We all know I'm the favorite parent anyway."

Emma snorted, shaking her head and moving to her attention to the papers on her desk to try and get some work done. David watched his daughter for a moment more, feeling his heart swell at the sight of her smile, no matter how tiny it was. The bags under her eyes were incredibly prominent, her skin ashy and pale. He gathered she was hardly sleeping, and it pained him that there was nothing he could do for his baby girl's heartbreak.

He knew, however, that he also couldn't push the issue and that she did not take well to coddling, so after taking a deep breath he finally got started on his work as well, pushing his worries for Emma to the back of his mind as best he could.

…

Dear Regina,

It's been one week. One agonizing, brutal week. I've been writing one of these letters every night, but it still isn't helping me feel better. Realistically I know that nothing will make me feel better and that everything takes time, but you know me, I'm not a patient person at all.

I started work again today. I didn't tell anyone this, but it's because Henry is with you this week and I knew that I needed something to distract me from doing something stupid. He wanted to stay with me, but I knew that would only make it worse. You don't deserve to not have your son with you because we couldn't work things out.

I think he's angry with you though. Just like I'm angry. Really Regina, I'm furious with you. I know that I tell you you're better than this in every letter, but it's because I can't get over it. I haven't seen Marian around so I can only guess he left her, but even still—being someone's second choice? That's not you.

You've always been my first choice. And you don't talk about it but I know how much you loved Daniel, and I know you would have been his first choice. I don't even think it's my place to say that, but from what you have told me about him I think we would have gotten along. And that we both wanted what's best for you. This? Is not what's best for you.

I mean Jesus Christ, Regina. First you're the "other woman" to this douchebag, and now you're settling for him. I am so fucking furious.

People also talk about the five stages of grief; well I guess I've finally settled on anger. You're being a total bitch Regina. And I wish you would see this one day just so I could piss you off with my language. It's not "lady like" my ass.

I've been avoiding everywhere in town just so I don't have to see you, but I would like to yell at you. Maybe punch you in the face again. Remember that? We've always fought Regina, but there was never any real hatred beneath it. I know there wasn't. And I know you'll deny it till the end of the time, but you were afraid of me and how I made you feel. And I don't think that's changed. But I wish you could just embrace it instead of doing this. Because according to Henry you don't seem all that happy either.

Maybe one day I'll get an explanation for this. And it better be a damn good explanation. And maybe one day soon I'll actually be able to face you again as well, and stop Henry from suffering more than he already is by leaving me alone.

Yours,

Emma

P.S. Nights are the worst part. I'm just begging to get some sleep soon.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two weeks post the incident

Henry walked into Granny's with Roland; his mother and Robin following close behind. While Henry liked Roland well enough and thought the boy was fun to play with and tell stories to, he was still not open to the idea of being a "family" with them. His family was his mom and Emma, thank you very much.

The four of them sat in a booth and Henry tried to discreetly check his phone to see if Emma had texted him. It was the end of his week with Regina and he had hardly gotten the chance to see or talk to his other mom. Before everything went down he would often go back and forth between the two residences no matter who's official week it was to have him, because his moms spent enough time together anyway. Now he was stuck in the same house all week worrying about both of his moms because one was unhappy, and the other was unhappy but pretending not to be.

"Daddy, when is Mommy coming home?" Roland asked innocently while they waited for their food.

Oh yeah, there was also that. Henry hadn't gotten the explanation as to why Roland's mother didn't come back with them, and his mom didn't seem inclined to tell him—his mother who was looking very uncomfortable right about now, and avoiding eye contact with Robin.

"I told you Roland, Mommy and Daddy aren't together anymore. We're living with Regina now, remember?" Robin said in a cheerful voice.

Henry tried to like the guy, he really did, but he couldn't stand the smile on his face. This guy had put his mom through the ringer last year, and when he was finally happy to see her getting along with Emma he shows back up.

He would never understand grown ups. They were all idiots.

The door to the diner opened, gaining his attention as he looked up to see his other mother walk through the door. She had told him she would meet him there this morning, but clearly she had been anticipating him to come by himself as Regina was usually at work by this time.

They locked eyes, but before he could do anything she was rushing back out, the door slamming shut behind her and finally causing Regina to look up as well.

...

Regina looked to the door slamming shut, catching a flash of blonde hair rushing by through the window. She let out a sigh and looked to Henry who was now looking at a text message on his phone, one she assumed was from his other mother.

Sure enough her son looked up to her and said, "Emma's waiting for me outside. She's going to walk me to school and then take me to her house after. I'll just get my stuff from your car before we leave."

"I thought we were having a family breakfast?" Robin's voice said from her right.

Regina didn't miss the flash of anger across Henry's face.

"I have school and I'm not going to keep my mom waiting," her son replied in a tightly controlled voice.

"Henry," she sighed.

The two held eye contact for a moment, but Regina knew she wouldn't win. He had been freezing her out as well for most of the last two weeks, and while she knew why she also knew she couldn't explain it to him.

"Fine, go," she eventually said. "Make sure all your homework gets done this week."

"Yeah, yeah," Henry rolled his eyes. He kissed her on the cheek however, and muttered a "love you" before rushing out of the diner.

….

"She's not happy you know," Henry said later that night as he dropped down on the couch next to Emma.

They decided to order pizza for dinner and watch the newest Marvel movie on Netflix; something he was rarely allowed to do with Regina, except for the past few times when Emma had been able to convince her.

"What are you talking about?" Emma replied with her mouth full.

Henry rolled his eyes, his new favorite past time when talking to his moms now, "My mom. She's pretending to be happy with Robin but I can tell she's not."

Emma sighed, "You've been saying that for the past two weeks, kid, but she seems pretty happy to me."

"You haven't even seen her," Henry scoffed. "You avoid all the places she might be and this morning you ran away at the sight of her."

Now it was Emma's turn to roll her eyes. "Well sorry for not wanting to see the new 'happy little family.'" She knew she sounded like a teenager—in front of her own teenage son, no less—but she couldn't help it.

"Roland is confused too," Henry continued, ignoring his mother's outburst. "He wants to know where his own mom is. Although no one has bothered to tell me that either."

Emma sat for a moment in thought, before shaking her head lightly, "Just eat your pizza, kid. And your homework better be finished!"

Henry just nodded absentmindedly before digging into his food and focusing his attention on the movie. The two ate in silence until they were both full, and then Emma was pleased to note that Henry was getting increasingly closer to her on the couch. Eventually he dropped his head in her lap, allowing her to run her fingers through his hair. While she knew that he was probably just doing this to placate her, she still felt her heart swell, loving these small moments that she had missed out on for so many years.

She let him doze until the movie was finally over, and then woke him up enough so that he would stumble to his room and fall back asleep. Making sure his alarm was set, Emma then left the room herself with a light kiss to his forehead and retreated to her bedroom, sitting at her desk for tonight's letter.

_Dear Regina,_

_Another night, another letter. I saw you at the diner this morning, you and him and the "new family." Henry disagrees—he doesn't consider Robin and Roland his family at all—but I know the image you were trying to project. I wish I could say it didn't sting, but I would be lying._

_I mean seriously, I couldn't even face you to have a simple conversation. I don't even recognize the person I've become lately. After Neal I told myself that I would never trust anyone again, and I know I trust my family and Killian and Ruby, but it was different with you. And then you went and broke my trust._

_But now I know I can't shut myself off again. At least not from the people who really need me. I need to work on myself, as hard as that's going to be. Two weeks is probably more than enough time for wallowing (I've never even been the wallowing kind of girl, what have you done to me?) and now things have to change._

_Maybe in another two weeks I'll finally be able to face you._

_Not Robin though. I just can't see that particular conversation ever happening._

_Even if you're not happy, I hope you are soon. I hope I'm happy soon, too._

_My dear, with love,_

_Emma_


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is primarily Captain Swan but only in the way of friendship to move the story along. Enjoy :)

"Swan!" Hook called over the side of his ship, "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I come bearing gifts," Emma replied, holding up a bottle of rum and a box of Granny's cherry pie.

"Well come on then," he said, waving her aboard.

Emma climbed on the ship confidently, having spent more than enough time with him and Henry on it over the past year. She was glad that the two were friends now and that Henry seemed to look up to him, and had taken such a liking to sailing. She assumed it was the connection they both had with Neal, but that was something that just always went unspoken.

Like always, Hook made a show of looking Emma up and down, but this time she could see a bit of pride glimpsing through, "You're looking better, Swan."

"Well, it's been a month," Emma said. "I've got to suck up and bear it sometime."

"It's also Henry's time with her again, isn't it?" he asked knowingly.

Emma sighed, "Fine, maybe I didn't want to sit alone another night but you're not going to complain about free food and drink are you?"

"Certainly not," he let out a hearty laugh. "Give it here, then."

Hook had taken to the things in this realm with relative ease, and cherry pie for some reason had become his favorite food. He ordered it so often that eventually Granny had to stop him and only make it on special occasions. Most people knew of the new tension between Emma and Regina now, however, so it was likely that that had a part in her giving up an entire pie to Emma for the night.

Emma handed the items over before reaching into her bag and taking out a blanket, laying it on the deck.

"Too afraid to drink with me in the captain's quarters?" he asked, although it lacked its real old suggestiveness.

Emma rolled her eyes in response, used to the comments by now and knowing he only did it to annoy her.

"Drink up Captain," she replied, deflecting attention to the bottle he still held in his hand, "And then pass it on over to me."

Hook did as she said, knowing by now there was never any point in trying to argue with her. Once he passed the bottle back over, Emma surprised him by taking a hearty swig from the bottle, barely flinching at the burn down her throat.

"Slow down there, lass," he commanded gently, although not daring to try and take the bottle from her.

Emma gave him a glare, but put the bottle down and took out a couple of forks to break open the pie. The two fell into easy conversation, passing the rum and pie back and forth, although Emma had quite a bit more wine and Hook quite obviously had more pie.

"I have… a confession to make," Emma slurred out a few hours later, at this point more drunk than tipsy.

"What is it, love?" Hook answered, still mostly sober.

"I've been talking to Regina…" Hook's eyes widened, "No, no, no, not like that," she protested heavily, "I've been writing her… letters."

"Is that so?" he replied gently, wanting her to continue talking. Knowing Emma, he knew that she likely had not talked about the situation at all, choosing to keep all of her emotions inside even though they could see her struggling everyday. Dave himself had brought up concerns to Hook, so he would have to mention that Emma did open up. He would keep the content to himself though, not wanting to betray her trust.

Emma nodded, "My mom said it would help," a petulant look crossed her face, one that made her look like what he imagined she did as a child, "But she  _lied_. I don't feel better at all."

She swayed to the side, starting to lean on Hook a bit heavily. "Regina's a  _bitch_ ," Emma continued. "I can't believe she did this to me. Can you believe her?"

Hook tried to keep a straight face—this was a serious situation, but hearing Emma let loose so freely was a bit comical.

"Indeed I can't Swan," he finally told her. "Anyone who would give up you must be out of her mind," he continued in a softer voice.

Luckily Emma was too far-gone to notice the comment, and at this point seemed to be nearly asleep. Hook sighed, it seems he would have to relinquish his bed for the night; there would be no getting her home in this state.

"Captain's quarters you go, my lady," he said cheerily, jostling her to try to get her a bit more conscious. The two stood up slowly, with Hook practically carrying her down the stairs to his cabin. Gently he took off her coat and shoes, and started to get her situated into the bed. He stood up to leave when her hand reached out, grabbing his wrist and pulling him back.

"What-" he exclaimed out, trying to keep himself from falling on her.

"Killian, you love me right?" Emma asked him, her wide green eyes imploring into his.

He sighed, "Emma…"

"I just want to…" she leaned forward, connecting their lips. "I just want to feel something."

She pushed forward again, and it took all of his restraint to pull back. He loved her, but she didn't love him and there would be nothing right about taking advantage like this. Not only did he love her too much for that, but he also respected her too much. If only Regina would get her head out of her bloody arse long enough to see what she had given up.

"Go to sleep, love," Hook told her gently, instead giving her a quick kiss on the forehead and smoothing her hair back. Her eyes fell shut almost immediately, showing how far gone she really was.

Killian let out another sigh, stepping back and then falling into the chair beside his desk. He didn't want to go too far, in case she got sick and needed something during the night. He also briefly took out his phone to let Dave know that his daughter was with him, and safe. Hopefully he wouldn't get too much of an earful in the morning.

Soon enough he fell asleep as well, and didn't notice when Emma woke up, put on her jacket and slipped around to his desk, finding a piece of paper and pen.

_Dear Regina,_

_I did something so stupid tonight. I tried to kiss Killian. Well… I did kiss Killian. And I wanted it to go further but he stopped things before they could get too far. I was really drunk, and I know that's no excuse but God, I just wanted to really forget for once._

_And I know that he loves me and that makes me feel even worse too. I shouldn't have taken advantage of him like that, no matter how fucked up I am._

_I haven't even left his ship yet but I just needed to get this out… even though I'm not really confessing it to_ _you_ _, I thought you should know anyway. This version of you, at least. I need to get home now and sleep this off for real. I guess there's nothing else to say either._

_Hung over, but still yours,_

_Emma_

She folded up the piece of paper and stuck it in her jacket pocket, before taking another small piece of paper from the stack.

_Killian- I'm so sorry for last night. Thank you for taking care of me. I went home to sleep this off better (sorry for taking over your bed as well). I'll see you at work tomorrow. –Emma_

Finally she left the boat, thankful that Killian hadn't woken up. It was only just 5am, so the town was still asleep and the morning fog was still hanging in the air. Emma walked the moderate distance from the marina to her apartment, completely lost in thought and missing the person waiting on her front step, only noticing when a strangely familiar voice broke through her thoughts.

"Emma?"

"…. Lily?!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't posted more for a while! The entire story is written out but I've had a friend from England visiting this week so I haven't been able to update. The rest of the updates should continue quickly from now on

"Lily what the hell are you doing here?" Emma asked a little breathlessly. She hadn't seen the girl since she was fifteen years old—and hadn't heard from her in as many years either.

She took a moment to look her old friend over, taking in the changes that had been made in the past sixteen or so years. While Lily had been pretty as a teenager, she had grown into her beauty now in a way that Emma could certainly appreciate. She was on the curvier side, but more of a soft way, and not petite like Regina. Her dark skin was free of the blemishes that come with teenage years, her ebony hair cut short to her chin in a stylish bob.

It didn't escape Emma's notice that if someone were to look closely, Lily could look very similar to Regina, but since she had technically known Lily first she chose to ignore this fact.

She also noticed that Lily was wringing her hands with a nervous expression, looking reluctant to tell Emma why she was here. It brought a flash of memory about why they had been separated last time, and the lies Lily had told. Betrayal flared quickly through Emma once again before she tampered it down; if Lily was here now there must be an important reason, and surely someone must have changed in sixteen years.

"Well it's a funny story actually," Lily began, her voice sweeter than Emma remembered. "Your son found me."

" _Excuse me_?"

Lily let out an uncomfortable laugh, "Yeah, imagine my surprise too. Hearing the name 'Emma Swan' for the first time in more than a decade, quickly followed by the word son. I was even more surprised when he pitched an argument about why I had to come here, and he wasn't very specific about any details besides the fact that you were lonely and he remembered hearing about me and decided to look me up."

Emma sat in silence for a minute, absorbing the information.  _Henry_ … what a little shit. She always told him not to meddle in her life, but it seemed that just like her, he had a knack for finding people. He had found out about Lily after the home video they found while Ingrid was still around, and once they were at home Emma had figured Henry deserved to know what happened. She hadn't thought it made much of an impression, although her son was clearly perceptive enough to see that at the time she had missed the friendship deeply, and now that Lily was in front of her was feeling all sorts of emotions once again.

"It's kind of a long story," Emma eventually said, not sure how to explain what had become her entire life now.

Lily eyed her up and down, a small smirk overtaking her face; "Well time has sure treated you well in the making of that long story."

A small laugh left Emma's mouth, a surprise glimpse of happiness peaking through her mood. "Time seems to have done you good as well."

The two stared at each other for a beat longer, not sure where to go from here. Lily had been Emma's best friend in the entire world, and only friend during the first 28 years of her life, and she was pretty sure that Lily felt the same, even with what happened between them.

"How about this," Lily finally proposed. "Why don't we just start over. Hi, I'm Lily," she said, holding her hand out to shake.

Emma eyed it for a moment before reaching her hand out as well, feeling a small  _zap_  as their skin made contact, "… Emma," she breathed out, a bit disoriented by the familiar emotions that were now swirling around inside of her.

She quickly yanked her hand back, noticing that Lily looked a little shell-shocked as well. "Do you have anywhere to stay?" Emma asked.

Lily nodded, eyes trained on what looked like Emma's hand. "Granny's," she answered absentmindedly, before reaching her hand out again and taking Emma's, only this time it was her left hand, and turning it up so she could see Emma's wrist.

"You got a tattoo," she whispered, staring reverently at the flower on Emma's wrist.

"Yeah," Emma replied a little uncomfortably. "It's not a star, but I couldn't really imagine putting it anywhere else…"

Lily finally let go, but looked up to Emma with a small smile, who then gave Lily one in return. "Well I guess I'll get going…" Lily said, "But would you like to meet tomorrow? Maybe tell me that long story?"

Emma thought hard, considering it. It had been a month since Regina left her, and things with Robin were clearly going steady. She needed to move on, even if it wasn't romantically—although based on the feelings she had for Lily when they were younger, she wouldn't necessarily opposed.

"Okay," Emma agreed. "We can meet for breakfast at Granny's? There's a diner attached to the inn, we eat there most mornings."

"You and your son?" Lily smiled.

"Yeah," Emma said, "But he's with his other mom this week so it'll just be us."

Lily was clearly curious about that, but must have sensed Emma's discomfort because instead of asking a question she just nodded, and then squeezed Emma's arm briefly before making her way into town and throwing a soft "goodnight" over her shoulder.

Once she was gone Emma made her way into her apartment, immediately finding a piece of paper and a pen. She had started keeping them all over the house, because thoughts for her letters to Regina tended to happen anywhere.

_Dear Regina,_

_I know technically I already wrote you a letter this morning, but something else big happened. (What is it about today?)_

_I don't know if you remember my old friend Lily, the one that came up during that whole time with the Snow Queen? You probably remember, you have the memory of an elephant, but anyways, she's back. She was just here, at my house. I'm still kind of in disbelief._

_Apparently Henry called her. Yes, our son has inherited the ability to "find" people, although I guess we could have guessed that years ago when he found me…_

_He brought me into your life, and I thought we would stay in each other's lives forever but we won't. And now he's brought Lily into my life, and I'm not sure where things will go, but I know that I should just let things progress naturally. Lily was the first girl I ever had feelings for (and the first person, if we're being completely honest.) She was the reason I knew I was attracted to both genders, and if she came here I'm assuming she's still single._

_We're meeting for breakfast tomorrow and I'm really nervous. She seems different, like she wouldn't lie to me now, but I don't want to lie to her. I think that means telling her where I come from, and the background of this town. We knew people could wander into Storybrooke now, and someone finally has._

_I just hope she won't find me completely crazy and I'll be left alone again._

_I'm thinking too much about this, what I really need to do is get some sleep. I just wanted to let you know. First Killian, now this. I'll always love you Regina, but you're happy with Robin and now I need to find my own happiness too. Maybe one day we can cross paths while in good places in our lives, and it won't feel like a knife is cutting through my chest._

_One day…_

_Emma_

….

The next day Emma walked into the diner hesitantly, but caught sight of Lily quickly, already sitting in a booth waiting.

She made her way over, sitting down and greeting Lily with a smile. Ruby walked up to them and took Lily's order, before asking Emma "the usual?" and giving her a look that Emma knew meant questions later. She just rolled her eyes in response as Ruby walked away—meeting at the diner was always going to get the gossip running about the newcomer to the town, but it was nothing Emma wasn't used to with all of the drama that she had been involved in over the years.

"So how long have you lived here?" Lily asked, trying to make light conversation while also learning about what had happened with her friend in the years that had passed.

"Um… about 3 years?" Emma answered, trying to think back past all of the curses they had endured, screwing with her sense of time. "I think a little bit more. My son came and found me when he was ten years old… I had given him up for adoption."

"Oh Emma…" Lily put her hand over one of Emma's gently. "You didn't want him to grow up like you?"

Emma let out a watery chuckle, not surprised that Lily read her so quickly—they had clicked instantly back when they were younger.

"Actually it was you I thought about when I found out I was pregnant," Emma said, avoiding Lily's eyes. "I thought of your adoptive father, how he cared enough to come after you and bring you home. I wanted someone like that for my kid. And I also knew I couldn't raise a baby in the back of a car."

Lily grimaced, but before she could answer Emma continued.

"It was a closed adoption but he somehow found me anyway, I'm assuming not too different from how he found you," Emma joked. "He wanted me to bring back the happy endings in this town."

"Happy endings?" Lily had a peculiar look on her face, like she was trying to remember something but couldn't quite grasp it.

Emma took a deep breath, "If you're planning on staying, I need to be honest with you. There's something about this town, something special. It's going to sound crazy but I need you to trust me."

"Emma," Lily said, her eyes snapping up to Emma's with a sharp focus. "I know."

"What?!"

"The magic in this town… I know," she said, the epitome of a light bulb moment. "My mom… my real mom, she came and found me a few months ago. Spun me this crazy story about a magical town and the reason she had to give me up, because of some fairy tale characters and a savior… a savior named Emma."

Emma was stunned, unable to fathom a response.

"I thought she was crazy, I sent her away and didn't give it another thought. But the town, I'm pretty sure she said it was called Storybrooke. I never thought that Emma would be you…"

"Your mom," Emma whispered, trying to keep her emotions in check, "What was her name?"

Lily snorted, "Maleficent. Like that Disney villain," a thoughtful and mildly disgusted look crossed her face, "Which means if her story was true… that she's really that villain?"

Emma nodded, a look of sympathy in her eyes for all that Lily was trying to absorb, squeezing the hand that was still holding hers lightly on the table.

"I know it's a lot to take in," Emma said. "Hell, it took my son almost dying from a sleeping curse for me to believe. But if you want to know more about you came from… and maybe stay a while… I'll be here to help you through it."

Ruby came over then, breaking the girls apart quickly and putting their food down in front of them. Sensing the tension at the table, however, she wisely left again, tending to other tables.

Lily blew out a harsh breath, slumping down in her seat looking like she had essentially just been punched in the stomach. Emma ate her food in silence, knowing that the girl needed some time to process what was going on. Emma herself was trying to process that the best friend from her childhood actually was connected to her—both of them having been born in the Enchanted Forest and ripped away before they could ever have a chance at family.

"So who's she?" Lily finally asked, nodding her head towards Ruby who was wiping down the counter.

"Little Red Riding Hood," Emma smirked. "And my parents are Snow White and Prince Charming."

Lily was silent for a moment, before bursting out into a loud and uncontrollable fit of laughter, causing Emma to quickly join her. She could feel the other patrons of the diner looking at them, but the laughter felt too good to care, bringing happy tears into both of their eyes.

They eventually stopped their laughter and paid for breakfast, Emma leaving Ruby a generous tip in hopes of it hopefully keeping her quiet for a little bit, so Emma could explain to her parents at least what was going on. They made their way outside, stopping once they got to the sidewalk and turning to face each other.

"I'm in," Lily said with a hint of challenge in her eyes, "Bring it on."

"Good," Emma replied, ridiculously pleased. She could feel the warmth of happiness spreading throughout her body, and something else that felt a lot like hope. "How about you come over for dinner tonight? Henry is coming back with me for the week, and I know he'd be glad to explain everything to you."

"It's a date," Lily told her, a light blush staining her beaming cheeks.

They parted ways, both excited for the night to come, and neither one of them noticing Regina in the shadows listening to the whole conversation…


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the majority of this story before adult Lily was on the show, so anything past this point involving her, her & Emma, and the lack of Maleficent is all of my own creation. Hope you enjoy my interpretation :)

**How would you feel about a guest joining us for dinner tonight?**  Said the text Henry had received from Emma while he was at lunch.

_Who is it?_

**Cut the crap, kid. She already ratted you out. Dinner's at 6, so get your stuff from your mom's before then.**

_You love me, and you're welcome_

**Get to class.**

Then a minute later:

**:)**

Henry smiled, thankful that his mom wasn't mad. He knew she missed her friend, and he really wanted to meet Lily in person himself. Now he just had to wait six more hours before he could get to dinner.

…

At five that afternoon, Henry finally made it home to Regina's house after hanging out with Grace for a little while after school. He bounded up the stairs; rushing to get his essentials packed for his next week with Emma. While he had two sets of wardrobes at each house, there were certain books and things he had to bring with him everywhere.

This time he also made sure to pack the old fairytale book, per Emma's request from another text she had sent that afternoon. He hoped that meant that she was telling Lily the truth about the town, and that she would be staying for a while.

"Why are you bringing that?" a voice said from the doorway of his room.

Henry looked up to see his mother standing there with a curious look on her face, like she wanted to ask him something but wasn't quite sure how.

"Just for old times sake," Henry evaded the true answer, not sure what the protocol was for this situation regarding his mom and Emma. "I'll be there for dinner tonight as well."

"I thought we were going to have one last family dinner tonight," Regina said, her voice barely containing a hard tone.

Henry rolled his eyes at the word "family" so she couldn't see while he was finishing packing his bag. "Special dinner tonight," he mumbled out, trying to get past his mom to the front door.

"Does this have anything to do with the strange woman your mother was having breakfast with this morning?" the question stopped Henry cold.

Turning around and facing his mom with a challenge in his eye and answered, "So what if it does?"

"I don't want you spending time with people I don't know Henry," Regina bit out, reminding him almost of how protective she acted when Emma first came to town.

"She's not a stranger Mom, it's Ma's old friend Lily from when they were kids," that bit of information caused a spark of jealousy to flare in Regina's eyes, giving Henry a brief sense of satisfaction. "You would know all about that if you hadn't chosen to cut her out of your life for no reason at all."

"Henry Daniel Mills! You will not talk to me in that way," Regina raged.

Henry just rolled his eyes again, not taking her threat seriously. He knew that she was frustrated with the situation, and still wouldn't admit that she wasn't happy with Robin. And Henry was sick of pretending that he was okay with it.

"I'll see you later, Mom," He deflected, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving the house to walk over to Emma's apartment.

He made quick work of the walk, letting himself into the apartment and calling out a "Hey Ma!" as he made his way to his room to put his stuff down.

Walking back out into the kitchen, he noticed the dark haired woman standing with his mom, both with giant grins on their faces.

"You must be Henry!" Lily exclaimed, reaching her hand out to shake his, "It's nice to finally meet you in person."

"You too," Henry smiled.

"Your mom tells me you're quite the schemer," Lily told him with a sly wink in Emma's direction, who just rolled her eyes in response.

"Don't encourage him," Emma chastised, pointing a finger. "Dinner's almost ready, kid, how about you get your book out so we can look at it when we're done?"

Henry nodded excitedly, rushing off to get his book and hearing laughter trailing behind him, triggering a smile in response at his mom's mood finally seeming to be lifted.

….

A little bit later, Henry was sitting with Lily on the couch, reading her all of the most important points of the book. He was surprised to find out that she was Maleficent's daughter, and felt a little bit bad that she wouldn't be able to reunite with her mom on happy terms since they had defeated the Queens of Darkness.

Emma was cleaning up the rest of their dishes in the kitchen with the radio playing quietly next to her, so Henry made sure that she was completely occupied before turning to Lily.

"So what are your intentions with my mom?"

Lily's eyebrows flew up into her hairline, "What do you mean?"

Henry let out an exasperated sigh, "I'm not stupid, and I see the way you two look at each other. I'm sick of seeing her feel miserable about my other mom. She looks happy with you, and I don't want her to get her heart broken again."

"Henry I'm not…." She trailed off when she saw the look that he was giving her. "Okay fine,  _maybe_  I had feelings for your mom once upon a time. And maybe I will again, but it's too soon to tell. I don't know how much she told you about our past, but it was pretty rocky so I'd just like to start building our friendship again first."

Henry thought for a moment before nodding, satisfied, "Okay, good. But just so you know, if you do want to ask her on a date eventually, I'd be okay with that."

Lily burst out laughing, ruffling Henry's head affectionately, "You really are a big schemer."

"What's he doing this time?" Emma groaned behind them, just having heard that part of the conversation.

Henry and Lily looked at each other with wide eyes before answering, "Nothing" at the same time, not making Emma feel any better about having left them alone to their own devices while she cleaned up.

She narrowed her eyes at them, knowing it was futile that either one of them would really crack. "I'll find out eventually you know."

"Sure Ma," Henry snorted, before turning back to the book and drawing Lily's attention to it once again.

Emma sat down on the armchair near them, just taking in the scene. Lily was good with Henry, and he seemed to be quite taken with her friend as well. Dinner had gone smoothly—while Lily was understandably still having a hard time coming to grasp with the magic of the town, she was taking to all the new information in strides and was clearly trying her hardest. It seems that she really did want to start all over with Emma again.

And Emma… well, she wasn't complaining. While she had her parents and Killian, since Elsa left she hadn't really had a friend in a long time. Regina was never just her friend, and certainly wouldn't be her friend now. But Lily… they had a past, and while it had been difficult; it somehow still felt like no time had passed at all.

Not to mention the spark between them. It was nothing like what Emma felt with Regina, but she couldn't deny that the attraction was there, much more so than when they were teenagers and too young to realize what they were really feeling and do anything about it. While she wasn't sure anything would ever actually happen between them, it was a little comforting to have that hope after being so miserable for the last month.

"Alright kid, time for bed," Emma said some time later, looking at the clock and realizing it was well after ten. "And no arguments, we can all go to breakfast at Granny's tomorrow, okay?"

Henry smiled in response before giving Lily a quick hug and then kissing his mom on the cheek, throwing a cheerful "goodnight!" over his shoulder.

Emma moved to sit in the seat her son had vacated next to Lily with a tired sigh.

"Breakfast tomorrow, huh?" Lily asked with a smirk. "Pretty presumptuous of you."

"Oh yes, because you have so many other friends to meet up with in this town," Emma replied sarcastically. The banter between the two was become familiar as well, and if she concentrated hard enough it could almost feel as electric as it did with Regina.

"I like him," Lily said, drawing Emma out of her thoughts. "I know you didn't raise him, but I still see parts of you in him and I'm really happy for you Em."

"Thank you," Emma said with a soft smile, as the two looked into each other's eyes for a beat too long.

"I better get going," Lily cleared her throat, breaking the moment. "I'll see you tomorrow I guess?"

The two got up from the couch, hesitating for a moment before going in for a small hug, both of their eyes closing at the comfort it provided.

"See you tomorrow," Emma whispered, finally seeing Lily out the door and shutting it behind her, leaning back against the door with a sigh.

…

**(Two weeks later)**

_Dear Regina,_

_I went on a date with Lily tonight. We've seen each other everyday for the past two weeks, and it's almost like she's living at the apartment now. It's all happened so fast, but we were just able to gain each other's trust back for which I am so thankful._

_Surprisingly, I was the one to ask her out. Killian's been teasing me at work about my new "girlfriend" (which always makes David throw something at him), and then I got encouragement from Henry too, which, no surprise. I didn't want to ruin our friendship, but somehow Henry has assurance that she likes me._

_I don't love her, but I think that maybe I could. We work really well together, and she makes me happy. I don't feel quite complete, but maybe you just can't find that with everyone. I hope you have with Robin in any case. It seems like you've been avoiding me more than usual, and I wonder if that's because of Lily too._

_She said she saw you at the grocery store and you just glared daggers at her—yes, that was how she was able to figure out that it was you. It's a good thing she's not easily intimidated._

_The date went really well tonight, and I think that depending on how well things start going, I might ask her to move in. (Yes, insert a lesbian joke about u-hauling it here) But she would stay in the spare room. It just seems silly for her to continue paying for a room at Granny's when it would be much easier to be here instead. I'll have to talk to Henry about it. I wish I could ask your opinion too, but I know it would be a resounding "no" and that's not fair since Robin and Roland are both living with you._

_Okay, okay, I'm moving on. Still trying not to be bitter. Even if I do want to punch Robin's face every time I see him…_

_I'm happy right now Regina. I think I really am. Lily is great, and kissing her wasn't bad either… maybe one day now I can find peace with you as well._

_Take care for now,_

_Emma_


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's been reviewing! I haven't responded to everyone but know that I read them all and I appreciate them SO much

"Hey Mom," Henry called, walking down the stairs before school that morning. "Grandma wants to know if you'll be able to babysit Neal tonight?"

While it had been two and a half months since Emma and Regina's falling out, and a month and a half since Lily showed up to town, Regina still somehow kept a pretty good relationship with Snow. She was often Snow's go-to person for advice about raising Neal, since Regina had been through it with Henry. It didn't hurt that the boy had taken quite a shining to Regina as well.

"I can't," Regina replied apologetically. "Robin wants to have a nice dinner tonight with all of us since it's your week here again."

Henry rolled his eyes but nodded, used to this routine by now. "I'll let her know when I get to school then."

He grabbed the toast that was waiting for him on the counter, shoving it in his mouth before giving his mother a quick kiss on the cheek. "Love you!"

"I love you too," Regina called after him, smiling to herself that at least her relationship with Henry was still good.

Robin and Roland had already left, with him taking Roland to practice some archery. Regina didn't agree as the boy was still so young, but Robin protested that it was never too young to learn the skill, and besides, Regina wasn't his mother anyway.

Pushing away the negative feelings that came with that thought, Regina finished making her lunch and then grabbed her purse to go into the office for the day. She had stopped frequenting Granny's so much now that Emma and her little girlfriend seemed to be there all the time.

Just as she was getting into her car, her cell phone started ringing, showing it was Robin. Regina sighed before answering, trying as hard as she could to make her voice cheerful, "Yes dear?"

"I'm sorry," came the immediate voice from the other end, not sounding very apologetic at all, "The boys coerced me into having drinks with them tonight, saying I haven't been around enough since coming back to Storybrooke. Would you be able to keep an eye on Roland? We can have the family dinner another night."

While the words were light on the surface, Regina was aware she wasn't being given much of a choice. She may have adored Roland, but that didn't mean she liked being treated like a babysitter, let alone a subordinate girlfriend. Now wasn't the time to argue about that, though.

"Fine," she said. "I'll be home after work my usual time to watch him after that." She hung up without waiting for a response, not in the mood to deal with anything else today. Although she supposed that also left her free to babysit Neal… Roland didn't require much attention, and the baby fascinated him.

Regina made the quick drive to work, getting settled in her office before calling Snow, hoping to catch her before her classes started.

"Hello?"

"Snow, it's me. Henry said you needed a babysitter tonight?"

"Yes…" Snow replied a bit hesitantly. "But he said you couldn't do it, something about a family dinner?"

"Yes, well, it seems that has been cancelled now," Regina huffed, "So I would be available to babysit the little charming."

"I'm so sorry Regina," Snow said, "But I already asked Emma. She said her and Lily would be glad to do it…"

Regina's eyes narrowed, "You're letting that  _delinquent_  around your child?"

"She's not a delinquent, Regina, and I think you know that" Snow said in a placating tone. "She's actually very nice."

"Yes, I'm sure."

Somehow Snow managed to make even her sigh sound sympathetic, "You could just talk to her."

Regina stayed silent for a moment, "You know I can't do that."

"I know," Snow replied quietly. "You also know that you could talk to me about it."

"I can't do that either," Regina snapped.

"You can't avoid her forever," Snow said. "You deserve to be happy."

Regina stayed silent once more, ignoring the feelings storming through her chest. "You have classes to teach. Get to work."

Snow sighed again, clearly admitting defeat. "Goodbye Regina."

Regina hung up the phone with more force than necessary. She couldn't believe Emma was babysitting her brother with another woman. Someone who had only been here for a month and a half no less. Growling slightly, she kept her phone out for a moment longer just to text Henry.

**Plans have changed, it's just Roland and us for dinner tonight.**

_Does that mean I can hang out with Grace for a bit after school?_

**Just after dinner. You can keep Roland company while I prepare everything. I'll drop you off after we get some ice cream.**

She put away her phone and tried to absorb herself in the work, ridding herself of all thoughts of Emma Swan and the jealousy swirling inside of her.

…

"Our cell phones will be on so don't hesitate to call if something goes wrong, okay? He's been a bit fussy lately with a few teeth coming in, so just use the teething rings and give him child Motrin before bed if you think it's necessary."

"I know, Mom," Emma rolled her eyes. "I have watched my brother before in that last, oh, eighteen months since he was born."

Snow narrowed her eyes, "I don't need your sass, Emma. Lily hasn't been here those other times, so it would be nice for her to hear it too."

The woman in question stifled her laugh, and attempted to keep a straight face while looking at Snow, completely avoiding eye contact with her girlfriend.

"I think we'll be okay," Lily finally said. "I trust Emma knows what she's doing."

Emma gave her mother a smug smile, causing her father who had been standing by silently to finally let out an exasperated chuckle.

"Now go! Enjoy your night," Emma said, shooing her parents out the door as she took Neal from her mother's arms. "We'll be fine and I promise I'll call you if we're not. I expect you back in three hours, nothing less!"

The first few times Emma had babysat, her parents went a little crazy with worry and were always rushing through dinner to get home. She then made it clear that she wouldn't let them in the house until they thoroughly enjoyed their date nights, leaving the kid to her (and Regina, but that was in the past now).

"Well I guess we should start on dinner too," Emma said, turning around and facing her girlfriend. Things had been going really well for the past month, with the two of them pretty seamlessly falling into a relationship. After much deliberation with Henry, Lily had moved into the apartment with him, but they kept up the pretense of separate rooms even though most nights they ended up in the same bed anyway.

Lily stepped forward, reaching her hands out, "I could hold him while you cook?"

Emma raised her eyebrow—it was always an interesting excuse as to which one of them could get out of making dinner, since neither of them were good cooks. She finally sighed, admitting defeat, "Fine. But if he starts crying you can deal with it."

"I think we'll be fine," Lily replied, taking the toddler into her arms, cooing at him, "Neal loves me, don't you Neal?"

"-Ily!" he exclaimed with a toothy smile, grabbing at her nose. The two continued to make faces at each other while Emma made dinner, each of them trying to get the child to say the most ridiculous things possible.

Later they played with him on the floor, basically having a contest as to who could have more of his attention.

"Come on!" Emma whined, sounding much like a toddler herself, "Don't you want to come to your big sister?"

Neal looked at her, almost having the exact same eyebrow raise as her own, before turning right around and going back to Lily.

"Ha!" Lily crowed, giving the boy a big kiss on the head. "He just loves his Lily more than his lame sister I guess."

Emma's heart swelled with love, watching her girlfriend with the toddler. Sometimes it still pained her to remember that her memories of raising Henry were fabricated, no matter how grateful she was to Regina at having them at all. Still, she wished for a family… she thought that with Regina she was getting that family, and then thought she had lost it. But maybe she hadn't, it was just coming in a different way than she thought.

"What are you looking at?" Lily asked, breaking Emma out of her thoughts. She was gazing back at Emma with a sweet smile, cheeks flushed from rolling around on the floor with a child. A child who was now falling fast asleep in Lily's arms by the looks of it.

"Nothing," Emma said softly. "Just thinking about how happy I am."

Lily's smile grew even wider, "Me too," she looked down at the child in her arms, "Now what do you think the chances are of me getting him to bed without waking him up?"

Emma looked at her watch, "Well seeing as how my parents should be home any minute, I'd say we shouldn't worry about it."

Sure enough, Snow and David arrived about five minutes later, looking much more relaxed than when they had left. After reporting that nothing had gone wrong, they gave Emma and Lily each a hug goodbye, having accepted her into the family after seeing so much of her lately.

"She's happy, right?" Snow asked David after the two women had left the apartment.

David sighed, "Yeah. She's just not Regina."

Snow wrapped her arms around her husband, feeling the same pang in her heart that she knew he was at the thought of their daughter's misfortunates.

"Still," Snow continued. "I think Lily's good for her. If that's how it works out."

"Yeah," David replied quietly, before leading them to bed. They just didn't have much else to say on the subject, not when they still didn't know what had gone wrong in the first place.

…

"You ever think about having another one of your own?" Lily asked as the two women walked home, hand in hand.

Emma glanced over to her girlfriend, trying to figure out where she was coming from. "Sometimes."

Lily sighed, squeezing Emma's hand as they made it to their apartment. "I want to talk to you about something. Well ask you really."

A sense of foreboding shot up Emma's spine, chilling her entire body. Those words were never good. She nodded in response, too nervous to even say anything.

As soon as Lily opened her mouth, however, Emma's phone rang. "It's being forwarded from the Sheriff's station," she said apologetically before answering. Her brows furrowed, listening to the message before shutting the phone quickly.

"I'm sorry I have to go," Emma rushed out. "I'll call you when I figure out what's going on," she made her way to the cruiser parked in front of the building, speeding off to the location of the call. Someone had seen a car sliding off the road into a tree. It was towards the edge of town, but Emma still made it there in minutes.

Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw when she got there, however.

A car was practically wrapped around a tree, horrifying enough on it's own, but Emma knew that car. It was Regina's car.

Her heart dropped into her stomach, a sense of nausea overcoming her so quickly that she had to throw her car door open before she threw up. Wiping her mouth, she rushed over to the car, where the medics from the ambulance were already working. They pulled a figure out of the driver's side— _Regina._

"Regina!" Emma called, her voice breaking as she ran over to the woman. Her forehead was covered in blood, from a long gash spanning from the side of her head all the way to her nose. The medics were clearly holding her up, as she couldn't quite seem to stay conscious.

"Emma?" Regina breathed out, blinking her eyes rapidly. "… Roland," she choked out after. "You have to get Roland."

Briefly Emma wondered where Robin was, but quickly pushed that thought from her mind. She nodded in response to Regina, moving towards the back of the car to make sure that Roland was okay when she heard a shout from behind her. Turning around she felt like she was going to faint once more—Regina had lost consciousness, and the medics were working quickly to revive her, voices shouting one over another.

Emma sunk to her knees, her emotions knocking her off her feet.

"Please," she begged, "Please don't let me lose her again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand sorry for the cliffhanger ;) next chapter you finally get Regina's point of view!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally you find out what's been going through Regina's head. Hope it lives up to your expectations!

"I expect you home in two hours, call me if you need a ride," Regina called out of the car earlier that night while she dropped Henry off at Grace's house.

The boy in question just turned around and gave his mother a salute and grin that reminded her so much of Emma she had to close her eyes for a second and get her thoughts back together.

"Can we watch a movie when we get home?" Roland's little voice from the backseat helped to draw Regina back to the present.

"I don't think we'll have time for that since we stopped for ice cream, it's almost time for you to go to bed," Regina answered, trying not to let her patience wear thin. Just because she was annoyed with the boy's father didn't mean she needed to take it out on him.

All she got was an answering little sigh in return, and she glanced back in her rearview mirror to see that while the little boy was done with his ice cream, it was now all over his face and precariously close to dripping all over his clothes. Leaning over towards the passenger seat and opening the dashboard, she reached in to grab a couple of spare napkins to hand back to Roland for cleaning his face.

Too late she looked up and realized the small patch of black ice on the road and tried to swerve to miss it, instead having her tires catch on the slippery ice and shooting the car forwards towards the tree to the side of the road.

The impact knocked the wind out of Regina, glass exploding in all directions nearly drowning out the small scream behind her. The airbag released, catching her hard in the face causing her to lose consciousness.

The next thing she was aware of was a siren coming closer, for which she was grateful. She tried to sit up, aware of an alarming amount of blood running down her face as her vision continued to be filled with spots.

"Hey Madame Mayor, take it easy," a voice said as an arm carefully wrapped around her waist to assist her out of the car. The voice sounded as if it was coming from underwater, and she couldn't quite focus her eyes on who it was.

"Regina!" a voice called from farther away. That voice sounded familiar…

"Emma?" she breathed out, blinking her eyes to try and focus on what looked like the blonde coming towards her. "… Roland," she remembered suddenly, Emma's face triggering a memory of Robin and his son, the reason for this crash coming back to her. "You have to get Roland."

Her vision was clouding over almost completely now, and all she saw was Emma moving towards the back of the car before she lost consciousness once more, a small shout being the last thing she heard.

….

"Regina!" a yelling voice was coming closer, along with the sound of hard footsteps moving quickly towards her.

Regina groaned, a pounding in her head preventing her from briefly remembering where she was and what had happened. She was laying in a bed and something on her face felt tight, as if someone had stuck tape on it. Slowly she became aware of a beeping noise as well, and realized that she was in a hospital bed.  _The accident_.

Her eyes shot open, and then shut quickly once more, the light in the room blinding her. The voice also hadn't faded, and was like an anvil to her dead. Dimly she realized that it was Robin trying to get past the nurses, and then a banging sound came sounding like the door was thrown against the wall.

"Regina! What the hell happened?"

Slowly she tried to open her eyes again, blinking furiously and wincing at the pain it brought.

"Sir!" a nurse stormed in after him. "Miss Mills has a concussion, a broken collarbone and lots of bruising, she needs to rest."

That statement surprised Regina, who only noticed now that there was wrapping around her shoulder as well—the damage also must have been caused by the airbag, but she had been in too much shock to notice.

"I need to know why she nearly killed my son!" Robin was shouting, causing Regina to wince once more at the pain the volume was bringing to her head.

She opened her mouth to speak, but let out a cough instead as her throat was incredibly dry.

"Here honey," The nurse moved over to her with a cup of water, slowly helping her drink it. "That's it, not too much." The nurse shot a glare at Robin over her shoulder, clearly not happy that he was still in the room.

"Is Roland okay?" Regina finally croaked out, having no idea what had happened past the ambulance coming, or how long she had been knocked out.

"He's fine, no thanks to you," Robin snapped. "What in the hell were you doing Regina? First you get him loaded up with ice cream and then what, go for a joy ride?"

"It wasn't like that, we—"

"You were being reckless is what you were doing! I trust you for one goddamn night and you can't even keep control of your car. Or did you just want to hurt my son and make me angry in the process?"

Regina's eyes were shut tightly, trying to focus despite the fact that he was still yelling at her, even with the nurse trying to drag him out of the room.

"That is enough!" a loud voice came from the doorway.

Regina's eyes flew open to see Snow standing there, hands on her hips and a look of pure rage covering her face.

"Get out," she said now in a dangerously quiet voice, daring Robin to disobey her. Since he was distracted the nurse was able to get a better grip on his arm, practically forcing him out of the room where Snow shut the door firmly behind them.

As she turned back to Regina her face was much softer, and she moved over to the other woman gently leaning forward to give her a kiss on the forehead.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

Regina nodded, trying to blink back the tears that had been filling her eyes. "What time is it?"

"Only just past 11," Snow answered. "You've been unconscious for about 4 hours."

"Henry!" Regina exclaimed, trying to sit up once she remember about her son.

"Hey hey," Snow said, quickly pushing Regina back down on the bed. "He's in the waiting room with Emma. She tried to make him go home but he insisted that he was staying until he could talk to you."

Regina's heart flipped at that knowledge,  _Emma was in the waiting room. Emma was at the accident site._

"She's really worried you know," Snow said softly, giving Regina a knowing look. "I'm not sure I've seen her this shaken up since Henry got taken to Neverland."

Regina shook her head, not wanting to believe the information. The pain medication she assumed was going through her IV was making her walls go down more than usual, and she felt dangerously close to telling Snow the truth.

"What happened Regina?"

She shook her head again, tears welling up in her eyes once more.

"You have to let it out sometime," Snow continued. "I know you don't love him Regina and I can see that he isn't treating you right. You deserve to be treated like the queen you are."

"That's just it," Regina finally bit out. "I'm the Evil Queen and Emma is the Savior and she deserves so much better than me." Her eyes were downcast, clearly repeating something she had heard before.

"Regina," Snow said firmly. She gently grabbed Regina's chin, forcing her head up to make eye contact. "Did Robin tell you that when he came back?"

Regina looked away again, staying silent for a minute before taking a deep breath and speaking quietly. "He came back because Marian left him. He was angry, and then he noticed some of Emma's things around the house. I think he was drunk, but he started asking me about her. He said that he was my true love and the only one that would ever love me. He said that she would never feel the same way, and that no one would allow her to be with me anyway."

Snow felt a rage storming through her, the reasons completely ridiculous to her ears but clearly valid to someone with as much insecurity as Regina.

"Regina, he's  _wrong_ ," she forced the woman to look at her again, wiping the tears from her cheeks with a loving touch. "You have no idea how destroyed Emma was when you left. She is so in love with you and all David and I have done is root for you two. You're both family and we love you both, we just want you to be happy."

Regina shook her head, "You're wrong. Emma's with Lily now, she doesn't need me."

"I need you to listen very carefully to me," Snow took Regina's hands. "Emma's with Lily because Henry brought her to town, wanting his other mom to be happy again. It was a push towards you as well, which clearly didn't work. She's happy Regina, but she's not in love. Lily is not  _you_."

Regina looked at Snow wide-eyed, hardly believing what she was hearing. Before Robin showed up she was sure that Emma felt the same as her, but then he put all of those thoughts in her mind and she forced herself to think of Emma negatively, otherwise she wouldn't be able to cope at all.

Clearly the accident and the concussion had knocked down all of those walls, and Regina had no fight left.

Snow could see the other woman thinking, and her body slouching down with nearly all resistance leaving her. "I'm going to get Henry okay? You can think some more."

"No," Regina reached out, grabbing Snow's hand and stopping her. "Do you… could you… do you think-?"

"I'll send Emma in first," Snow smiled gently, trying to calm the excitement that was building inside of her. While this was a major step forward, things still weren't necessarily better yet. She just nodded before leaving the room, shutting the door quietly behind her.

Briefly Regina wondered where Robin was, and was hoping that he had left the hospital. She would need to talk to him as well. Her eyes shut, exhaustion overcoming her body quickly from the accident and what was to come.

Finally she heard the sound of the door being pushed open, and a hesitant few steps into the room, before a breath was drawn and the voice she had been longing to hear for months filled her ears.

"… Regina?"


	10. Chapter 10

Regina's eyes flew open. "Emma," she breathed out.

The woman in question was standing in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest, shifting the weight from her feet back and forth. "Hi… my mom said you wanted to talk to me."

"Yes… I-"

"Henry wants to see you."

Regina sighed, "I know but I need to-"

"It's fine Regina. I can work out the official report tomorrow, you don't need to worry about that right now."

"Emma!"

Emma's eyes finally snapped to Regina's, her walls clearly in place and expressing no emotion. Regina hadn't looked into Emma's eyes in nearly three months, and the fact that they were no longer the key to her emotions left Regina feeling empty, even though she knew it was her fault.

"I need to talk to you. Please come sit down," Regina tried to say more calmly.

"I'm fine here."

"I'm sorry," Regina finally blurted out.

Emma's eyes narrowed, clearly not expecting this. That was her only visible reaction, however. "What are you sorry for?" she asked, none too gently.

"I'm sorry…" Regina took a deep breath, "I'm sorry for what happened between us. I'm sorry for the way I treated you. And I'm mostly sorry for never giving you an explanation."

Emma stayed silent for a moment, chewing on her lip for a bit. Her fingers clenched and unclenched at her sides, and Regina could at least tell she was resisting the urge to run.

"It's fine," Emma finally replied.

"No, Emma, it's not."

"Oh, so I'm officially back to Emma now?"

Regina let out an exasperated groan. "I'm trying to apologize, would you just listen to me?"

"There's nothing else to apologize for," Emma said shortly. "Lily is waiting for me at home. I'll send Henry in. Tell him to call me when he wants to come home too."

Before Regina could utter another response Emma was out the door.  _So much for fixing that…_  she thought to herself bitterly. Although she shouldn't be surprised—the last time she was betrayed she cursed an entire kingdom. She had to win Emma back though; it was just a matter of how to do it.

…

Emma rushed out of the room, barely concealing the shaking of her hands.  _Regina apologized… what the fuck?_  She did not need this right now. What she really wanted was a drink, but she knew she had to go home to Lily.

"Are you okay Ma?"

Emma opened her eyes, not even realizing they were shut and rubbed her hands quickly over them, looking at her son.

"I'm fine," she gave him a wan smile. "Your mom wants to see you. Go easy on her okay?"

Henry nodded with some reluctance, but didn't push his mother for an answer of what had happened in there.

"I love you," she said, kissing him on the forehead softly before departing.

Henry watched her go and then walked into the hospital room, pausing briefly at the sight of his other mom sitting in a hospital bed with bruises all over her body. She looked so fragile… nothing like the fierce and strong mother he grew up with.

_"_ _Henry,_ " her voice broke when she caught sight of him.

"Mom," he rushed over, but stopped short at the side of the bed, not wanting to hurt her.

"It's okay," she said. "Just be gentle."

Slowly he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her, surprised to feel his eyes filling with tears. He hadn't realized how scared he was until this moment, the realization that his mother actually was breakable filling his mind.

"Oh Henry," she said softly, stroking his hair with one hand. He felt a kiss to the top of his head, immediately sending some comfort through him.

Finally he straightened up, before pulling the one chair in the room as close to his mom's bed as he could get and took her hand.

"You're okay?"

"I'm going to be just fine Henry, don't worry."

He nodded, accepting that for now. "Robin didn't seem very happy."

Regina shut her eyes in frustration and huffed out a breath. "Well it doesn't really matter what Robin thinks at the moment."

"Mom… what happened with Ma? Just now?" Henry asked a bit hesitantly.

She eyed him for a moment, before finally deciding that he deserved to know the truth. "I apologized to her, for everything. This accident pushed me to realize the mistake that I had made. I want to rectify that."

Henry's eyes lit up, before dimming a little bit remembering how unhappy Emma had been walking out. "Emma didn't accept?"

"She didn't let me explain the full story, which she had every right to do." Regina sighed, "Henry, I hurt your Ma a lot. She doesn't really have the right to give me any forgiveness, but I'm going to try and work for it anyway."

"But you belong together."

Regina smiled, happy that while Henry was so grown up in some ways, he hadn't lost the innocence that came with believing in true love. "It's not that simple Henry. For now, I just want to earn her trust back. Can you help me do that at least?"

Henry nodded enthusiastically; already planning this new operation in his mind while his mom finally fell back asleep.

…

"Emma! Are you all right?" Lily rushed off the couch as soon as Emma opened the door to the apartment.

Feeling the weight of the night finally coming down on her, Emma stopped herself just short of collapsing into Lily's arms, needing the comfort desperately at the moment.

Lily, for her part, just wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and held her close, knowing that Emma would only tell her what was wrong when she was ready. It was a long time before they moved, but Lily finally got Emma away from the front door and ushered her to their room, urging her to change and get into bed.

Once in bed, she gathered Emma in her arms and stroked her hair softly.

"It was Regina," Emma finally whispered. "Regina crashed her car, she was in the hospital."

"I know," Lily replied softly. "Your mom called me and explained why you would be late." She kissed Emma's hair, waiting for her to continue.

"She wanted to apologize." Emma fell silent again. "She wanted to apologize and she had no right to do so. I've moved on."

Emma had told Lily the bare minimum of what happened with Regina, wanting to be completely honest why they would never be spending time with Henry's other mom. Lily understood, knowing all too well the betrayal of other people, and while she sometimes wondered how she measured up to the woman, Lily knew that Emma wouldn't be with her if she weren't happy.

All the same, Lily also felt like they weren't always quite made for each other. Regina apologizing changed the whole situation, and she tried to keep her heart calm of the now future unknown.

"I think you should hear her out," Lily finally said diplomatically.

Emma twisted her head up, looking into Lily's eyes through the darkness of the room. "You want me to forgive her?"

"I never said that," Lily said. "But you didn't know why she cut you out in the first place. I think you should at least find out why and go from there."

Emma stayed silent for a minute, clearly thinking over Lily's words. "You know I love you right?" She whispered.

"I love you too," Lily replied, taking a deep breath. "But I know you also love Regina. That's okay for now; I trust you and I know you're with me. But you're also going to have to make a decision eventually."

Both of them stayed silent now, an almost uncomfortable air around them—Lily was right, this new branch from Regina changed everything. Emma wouldn't talk to Regina immediately, that much was sure. But the curiosity would eat her alive if she never made any effort.

"Okay," was all Emma said, her answer hanging in the dark. She just pressed a kiss to Lily's neck, and it was a long time before either of them found sleep that night, too lost in their swirling thoughts.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just 2 chapters left and then an epilogue. And remember- it IS Swan Queen endgame :)

"Hey Ma, can you drive me to the hospital?" Henry asked, walking into Emma's room where she was finishing getting ready for the day.

She looked at him suspiciously, "Isn't your mom getting out today?"

Henry avoided eye contact. "Yeah… I thought maybe you could drive her home. You know… talk."

"Henry," Emma sighed. "I know I said I would hear your mom out, but that still doesn't mean I'm ready to talk to her yet. Besides, I have to meet Lily for lunch after her shift at the animal shelter."

"Fine," Henry finally agreed, knowing not to push his mom. "But will you at least come to her welcome home dinner tonight at Granny's?"

Emma tried to say no, but Henry turned his puppy dog eyes on her and there was no other choice but to agree—she would do anything to make her son happy.

"Alright, I'll go. But," she interrupted before Henry could say anything. "I'm bringing Lily too, so your mom will just have to deal with it."

Henry nodded quickly, "That's fine."

"Call your grandma, ask if she'll go with you to the hospital. Text me with your plans, okay?" Emma demanded, grabbing her purse to go. "I love you."

"I love you too!" Henry called after her, before taking out his phone to call Snow and thinking over the new plan. While his mom wouldn't be happy that Emma was bringing Lily, this, at least, was a start.

…

"You look unhappy," Lily said as she observed Emma from across the desk of the Sheriff's station. The two had decided to eat there, away from the many prying eyes of Granny's. Since sitting down, however, all Emma had done was sigh a few times and push around her food.

Finally she just pushed the take out away from her. "Henry wants me to come to Regina's welcome home dinner tonight. He's really pushing for me to talk to her."

"And are you going to?"

"Talk to her? You know I am," Emma said with a bit of bite, still not happy that even Lily seemed to be pushing the issue.

Lily, for her part, just rolled her eyes. "I meant the dinner."

"Oh," Emma said. "Yeah, I told Henry I would. But I said that you would be coming too."

"Emma…" Lily trailed off. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Emma crossed her arms petulantly, looking much like the teenager Lily had previously known her has. "I'm not going alone, so yes, you're coming with me."

"But you know Regina doesn't like me, are you sure you don't want to just piss her off?"

"I don't even want to talk to her at all!" Emma exclaimed. "But everyone is pushing it, and I don't know what to do. And I feel better when you're with me—you know how to keep me calm. That's why I want you with me. I don't want to analyze anything else right now."

Lily's eyes softened. Things had been a bit strained in the past week since Regina had entered the hospital and reached out to Emma again, especially since everyone did seem to have an opinion on the situation.

"Of course I'll go with you if that's what you really want," Lily told her girlfriend, reaching out to gently take Emma's hand. "And thank you for being honest with me."

Emma just nodded, squeezing Lily's hand before taking her own back and crossing her arms over her chest once more and avoiding eye contact. Lily took that as her cue to go, and just stood up, giving Emma a soft kiss on the head before leaving the station and Emma to her own endless thoughts once more.

…

"You wanted to see me?" Robin glared as he stepped into Regina's room where she was struggling to put her shoes on.

The past week in the hospital had been hard, as she was not one for lying around all day, but she had to admit the rest had done her good with the few broken ribs that she had. Finally she had rested enough to gain back some strength in her magic, and used that to heal her ribs so that they were now merely bruised, making tasks much easier and causing her to be able to go home sooner.

"Yes," Regina said as she stood up, clenching her hands briefly at her sides. "I thought we needed to talk."

"Oh, so you're finally going to apologize for endangering my son?" Robin's mood started to get cocky again, until he heard Regina's response.

"No," she said. "While I am truly sorry about putting Roland in harms way, that's not what I needed to talk to you about." She took a deep breath, remembering the talk she had had with Snow yesterday, and the words of encouragement her former stepdaughter had surprisingly given her. "This needs to end."

"What does?"

"Us. You, me. We're not working out, and I don't think we ever were."

Robin scoffed, "Is this about your silly obsession with Emma coming back? She's with another woman now Regina, proving once again that she'll never love you. I'm your  _soul mate_."

"No," Regina said firmly. "Some stupid fairy dust is not going to decide my fate. This isn't about Emma, it's about me. I'm not going to be treated like some nanny that you occasionally use for benefits when it suits you."

"So you'd rather be alone?" Robin responded with a scathing look.

Regina squared her shoulders, feeling like she was facing both Robin and anyone else who had ever put her down. "I'm not alone. I have Henry; I finally have friends in Snow and Charming. And if Emma would forgive me, I would have her too, even as just a friend. But besides all that I have myself, and I am enough for me."

Robin stared at her for a moment before laughing, although the sound was anything but cheerful. "So the couple that you spent years trying to destroy and a son that isn't even yours? Good luck with that, Regina."

A loud slap reverberated through the room.

"Get out of this town," Regina finally ordered, feeling nothing at all as Robin now held his red cheek. "I never want to see you here ever again."

"Or what?" he sneered, "You'll destroy me?"

"No," Regina replied truthfully, "I'm not the Evil Queen anymore. But I can make sure everyone in this town turns against you until you're driven out by them."

"Fine," Robin said, now obviously trying to save face. "I don't want to be in your shithole of a town anyway."

He stormed out of the room before Regina could say anything else. She then sank down on the bed behind her, letting out a shaky breath of relief. She really wasn't sure what she ever saw in the man.

Looking at the watch she saw that it was just nearing noon, and that Henry should be there soon with Snow, who was going to help her get ready for tonight. Then, hopefully, she could finally talk to Emma.

…

The party was in full swing that night when Emma walked in with Lily, but that didn't stop everybody from immediately falling silent, observing the newcomers and looking back and forth between them and the guest of honor.

Emma's cheeks flamed red, and Lily could feel her getting ready to bolt. She squeezed Emma's hand and muttered from the side of her mouth, "It's okay, you can do this."

She gave Emma a little shove towards where Regina was sitting at a booth with Henry, causing Emma to glare at her and everyone else to finally resume their conversations.

"Regina," she muttered as she got to the booth.

"Emma," Regina breathed in response, her eyes lighting up. Henry, noticing the tension between his two mothers quickly stood up and said something about getting Lily something to drink before dashing off.

"Please, sit," Regina said, gesturing to the side of the booth across from her.

Emma hesitated for a moment, before seemingly steeling herself and finally sitting down. "How are you?" she asked, a bit stiffly.

"I'm better," Regina said. "Magic can really work wonders on some broken ribs and bruises."

Emma nodded, and the two fell into an awkward silence. "Where's Robin?" she finally asked, looking everywhere in the room but Regina.

"Gone."

That made Emma's eyes snap right to Regina's. "Gone? As in gone from Storybrooke?"

"Yes," Regina said softly. "I ordered him out this afternoon, right after I broke up with him."

Emma's mouth was hanging open slightly, and she seemed unable to form a coherent sentence.

"Emma," Regina said. "I told you that I wanted to speak to you. That's a big part of it. Will you let me explain now?"

Emma just nodded, still unable to speak.

"Robin had me believe that I wasn't worth anything more than his love. He said that we were soul mates, and that I had no hope of anyone else loving me," Regina took a deep breath, steeling herself for the real confession. "He said that I had no hope of you ever loving me. And I believed him."

"Are you kidding me?" Emma finally asked, seeming to flop between disbelief and anger.

Regina broke eye contact finally, looking down at the table and playing with the napkin in front of her as a means of distraction. "I know it seems unbelievable now. Your mom was actually a big part of me seeing that."

"But I did love you Regina, do you understand that? I loved you so much and then you left… and I don't know if I can forgive you."

Regina felt her heart break a little at the past tense of the word "love," but knew that she deserved that. "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but if you'd let me, I'd like to try and earn it back. Little by little."

Emma stayed silent for a moment, thinking that over. "How would you do that?" She finally asked.

"Family dinners with Henry, for one. Maybe having a lunch here and there. If you needed a favor or something, you could rely on me to help. I don't know Emma, I just know that I need you back in my life again," Regina said, running her fingers through her hair in frustration.

"Well if you're in my life, you have to be in Lily's life too. I'm with her now and you'll have to accept that," Emma said, eyes narrowed.

Regina swallowed hard, and then nodded. "That's fair. I will try my hardest with her as well. If she makes you happy, then I'll be happy as well."

After a minute Emma finally cracked a small smile, her lie detector telling her that Regina really was telling the truth about wanting to try. "Okay," she said softly.

"Yeah?" Regina asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.

"Yeah," Emma said. She took a deep breath, releasing some of the tension she had still been holding. "Now tell me about healing those broken ribs."

…

Back at the bar, Lily was sitting and watching Emma and Regina out of the corner of her eye. She could see the tension filling Emma's body, and for a moment it looked like her girlfriend was overcome with rage. She almost went over at the point, but then Emma calmed down at what Regina said and Lily sat back down as well.

She knew that this talk was what Emma needed, but she couldn't keep the nerves building inside of her, and that didn't help when she finally saw Emma crack a smile at Regina.

"Penny for your thoughts, love?" a voice asked from beside her.

She looked over to see Killian sliding into the stool next to her, and signaling for two drinks at Granny.

The two had spent time together with Emma and Henry, but they had never really talked alone. Lily couldn't help but feel comforted by the man, though, knowing that he was like a brother to Emma, and probably her best friend besides Lily herself.

"She's finally talking to Regina," Lily admitted.

"Ah, and you think she's just going to drop you for the old love," Killian deduced. "You don't have to worry, Emma loves you."

Lily sighed, "I know she does, but that doesn't change the fact that there will always be something between the two of them. They're both Henry's moms, and they share something that I'll never get to understand."

"Hey," Killian said gently, touching Lily's arm. "Just talk to her about it. She won't be forgiving Regina that easily, not after how hurt she was."

Lily scoffed, "You know how hard it is to get Emma to talk about her feelings."

"Aye, that I do," Killian smirked. "So if all else fails, just give her some rum."

"Excuse me?"

Killian chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of his ear. "A few months ago, she had a bit too much to drink. Got a bit loose with her words, unlike our normal and lovely Emma."

Lily pondered that over, and then looked at Killian with a bit of suspicion.

"Oh no, love, nothing like that happened, I assure you," he said, holding his hands up in surrender. "It was just shortly after our Queen rejected her, and she let some feelings out about that. But the details of that belong to Emma, which again, you can ask of her yourself."

Lily nodded grimly, knowing he was right.

"But," Killian continued. "If you yourself ever need someone to talk to, I've got an empty ship and a great ear for listening."

"Thank you," Lily replied, smiling at him. She could see why Emma trusted him so much.

A hand on her other arm finally brought her back to her surroundings, and she looked behind her to see Emma standing there, and further behind her that Henry was now sitting back with his other mother.

"You ready to go?" Emma asked, eyeing Killian a bit oddly.

"Yes," Lily said, getting up. "You okay?"

"Fine," Emma said shortly. The two said their goodbyes, and then left Granny's, walking silently back to the apartment. Once there, Lily claimed a need for a shower, leaving Emma alone in the living room where she got out a piece of paper, ready to write another letter to Regina.

_Dear Regina,_

_I know I haven't written a letter in a while, but until now, my life has been really good. So of course, you had to go and ruin that._

_I don't mean that. Well, not exactly._

_You're finally talking to me again. You finally told me what happened with you and Robin (which makes me hate him even more by the way), and I guess I understand why you did what you did. I told you that I didn't know if I could forgive you, but the truth is, I think I can. I'm terrified though._

_I'm terrified that if I forgive you, you'll get my heart to open up once again, and I don't know if I could survive that._

_I also know that Lily doesn't deserve that. I'm with her now, and I really do think I love her. God, Regina, why do I still feel such a connection to you?_

_I wish I could dwell on it, but Lily is about to get out of the shower and I don't want to explain this to her as well. I already have to explain that the two of us are trying to have some sort of relationship once again. We have plans to have dinner with Henry in a few days. I guess we'll see where this new friendship goes._

_Emma_


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another time jump and only one chapter left (which will include an even bigger time jump)! Then the epilogue. :)

**4 Weeks Later**

Regina was babysitting Neal one Saturday while Emma was working and Lily had gone with Henry and Killian sailing. She was just getting the toddler up from his nap when her cell phone rang, with Emma's name flashing on the phone.

While they had started having family dinners once a week, and were slowly building back up to some sort of relationship, it was still out of the ordinary for Emma to just call Regina up in the middle of the day.

"Emma?" she answered immediately. "Are you okay?"

"… Hi," Emma's sheepish voice came through.

Regina sighed, "What's wrong?"

"Well, I may or may not be at the hospital…"

" _Emma_ ," Regina felt her heart drop.

"I'm okay! I just, well, took a little fall while trying to rescue a cat. You know, same old, same old. But Whale says I have a concussion so someone has to come get me. I know you're babysitting but with Lily out to sea and I didn't want to bother my parents…"

"Of course," Regina said with no hesitation. "I'm on my way right now, hold tight."

Since she had a baby in the car with her she wasn't able to get to the hospital as quickly as she would have liked, but as soon as she got there she rushed in, holding Neal tight to her chest. Luckily Emma was sitting in the waiting room, holding an ice pack to her head with her eyes tightly shut.

"Emma," Regina said gently, touching the other woman's shoulder and causing her eyes to pop open.

"-mma," her little brother cried happily, reaching his arms out for his big sister.

"Hey buddy," she said, taking the boy from Regina a bit clumsily and kissing him on the head. She looked back up at the other woman. "Thank you, I didn't know who else to call."

Regina smiled, "It's fine Emma, I told you that you could rely on me now and I meant it. Now do you have to do anything before we leave?"

Emma shook her head and then winced a little at the pain. "No, Dr. Whale said I just need to stay awake for the next 12 hours, and then have someone monitor my sleeping at night. I don't suppose you could work your little healing magic?" she said with a grin up at Regina.

"I can make the bump go away and reduce some of the pain, but you'll just have to naturally work your way out of the concussion yourself," Regina replied with a grimace, wishing she could take away Emma's pain completely.

"Hey," Emma said, freeing one of her hands from Neal to touch Regina's arm. "It's okay, I was just joking. This isn't my first concussion you know."

Regina scoffed, "I know, Miss Clumsy Pants. Now lets get you back to the loft, you can keep your brother company while I cook us some dinner."

Emma looked a bit startled, "Oh, you don't have to do that-"

"Nonsense, Miss Swan. You're hurt and I'm going to take care of you while you also help me out with your brother, and that's that," Regina said with a note of finality.

Instead of answering, Emma just gave her a grateful smile before slowly standing up. She swayed a little, prompting Regina to take the toddler back in one arm and wrap her other arm around Emma. A little zap went through them at the contact, although both of them steadfastly tried to ignore it, not ready to think about those feelings yet.

"When are Lily and the pirate getting back with our son?" Regina asked as they made their way back to Snow and Charming's loft.

Emma rolled her eyes at the nickname for Killian. "Later tonight, I didn't let them know because I didn't want them to worry."

"Are you sure that was a good idea?"

"Probably not," Emma sighed, "But it's my choice. Lily will stay up with me tonight anyway."

Regina grimaced, " _Details_."

"Not like that!" Emma protested with a little smirk. "I have a concussion, Regina, God. I just meant that she'll keep me company as per doctor's orders."

The two sat in silence after that, Regina reflecting on Emma's comments and how steadfastly she protested her and Lily having more… intimate relations. The two had seemed fine in the past few weeks—barring the awkwardness that came when Regina had to interact with Lily directly—and Regina hoped that it wasn't her friendship with Emma interfering with their relationship. She meant it when she said she was content just being friends with Emma, no matter how much she might still love her.

Once they got back to the loft, Emma got her brother out of the backseat where he had fallen asleep on the car ride and went to lay down on the couch with him on her chest, turning the TV on to a low volume. "Just make sure I don't actually fall asleep, kay?" she said to Regina a bit drowsily.

Regina nodded, smiling fondly at the two siblings, for a moment picturing Emma with her own baby on her chest, before snapping herself out of those thoughts and moving to the kitchen to start on a quick dinner.

It only took her less than an hour to finish making a lasagna, and she popped in on Emma every 10 minutes to give her a little shake and make sure she was still conscious. Finally she prodded Emma to get up from the couch and lay Neal in his play pen before eating dinner.

Luckily the conversation was light, as the two were slowly getting more comfortable with each other. Before long it was past 8 o'clock and the door to the loft was opened quickly as Henry bounded in, with his mothers shushing him so as to not wake up Neal.

"Ma!" Henry exclaimed as softly as he could, surprised to see both of his mothers together. "Lily's been calling you for the past 15 minutes, I'll go run out to tell her you're here."

"Well, I guess it's time for me to go," Emma said, a bit awkwardly. "Thank you for the company, and the dinner."

"It was no problem," Regina smiled softly at the other woman. "I could still reduce the bump on your head, if you want."

"Oh right," Emma said. "I totally forgot about that, please do."

Regina made her way closer to Emma, and took a deep breath before reaching her hand up to Emma's forehead. She could hear Emma's breath stutter at the contact, and they both seemed to be avoiding the other's eyes. Regina was close enough that she could feel Emma's body heat, and she had to shake her head a bit to focus on the magic she was supposed to be doing.

A soft glow came from under Regina's hand, enveloping Emma's forehead and making her close her eyes as a soft sound of pleasure slipped through her lips. After a few seconds it was over, and she opened her eyes, finally locking them with Regina's.

"Thank you," she breathed out, her stomach jumping around with all sorts of emotions.

Footsteps coming through the doorway broke the two out of their reverie, turning around to see Lily standing there with a strange look on her face.

"I didn't know you were coming here tonight," Lily finally said, breaking the awkward silence.

Emma chuckled, "I wasn't, but I may have hit my head and ended up with a concussion?"

That caused Lily to rush over, filled immediately with concern as she took Emma's head in her hands, inspecting her for damage. "Are you okay? What happened? Why didn't you call me?"

"I'm fine," Emma reassured, catching Lily's hands with her own. "I didn't want to interrupt your day, so I just called Regina to get me, it was no big deal. She just healed the bump with her magic, so all you have to do is keep me company for the night and make sure I don't fall asleep. Think you're up for it?" She bumped Lily's hip, smiling at her.

"Yeah, that sounds good," Lily replied, but still seemed more subdued than normal. "Are you ready to go then?"

Emma nodded, not really noticing the change in attitude. She turned to Regina, "See you tomorrow for dinner?"

"Yes, and I can take Henry tonight so you can rest without worrying about him?"

"Thanks, that would be great," Emma shot her a grateful smile. "Thank you again, I'll see you later." Lily had walked out of the apartment while they were saying goodbye, so Emma just gave Regina a little wave before leaving the loft as well, saying goodbye to Henry as she passed him on the stairs.

"So, you and Ma, huh?" Henry asked with a cheeky grin as he made his way back into the loft.

Regina rolled her eyes fondly. "It's not like that. She needed help, and I came to her aid. We're still building back trust with one another."

"But you had a good night, right? No fighting or anything?"

"Of course not, Henry."

"And you still love her?"

Regina sighed, "Of course I love her, but you have to respect that your mom is with Lily now, we're just friends."

She sat down next to Henry on the couch, feeling her heart swell with love when he leaned against her, resting his head on her shoulder. "I don't think Lily wants to be with Ma anymore," he finally confessed. "I hear them talking sometimes. She wants to be supportive of you two being friends, but they never do that gross couple like stuff anymore. I think she was talking to Killian about it today too."

Regina filed that information away for later, and focused on everything else Henry had said. Lily had seemed weird when she came to get Emma; she just hoped that whatever happened between the two, the direct cause wouldn't be because of Regina herself. That would be no way to start a healthy relationship with Emma, no matter if it's what the two of them eventually wanted or not.

…

Meanwhile, Emma and Lily were riding back to their apartment in silence, the air simmering with tension.

"So you and Regina had dinner, huh?" Lily finally asked.

Emma sighed, "It wasn't like that, I told you I just called her for some help. Henry was really looking forward to the day with you guys and I didn't want to interrupt it. Regina and I are just friends—barely, if that."

Lily stayed silent as they pulled up to the apartment, walking up the stairs and into the living room ahead of Emma before sitting down. Emma took the cue to sit down next to her, getting the feeling that they were finally about to have the big talk.

"I don't think this is going to work," Lily finally said.

While she figured that it was coming, it still didn't stop Emma's heart from feeling like it was shattering. Recognizing the look in Emma's eyes, Lily grabbed her hands and rubbed the backs of them in comfort.

"I love you Emma," she said seriously. "And I know you love me too… but you're not  _in_  love with me. I think I've always known it, but I was content to build a life with you… we were happy, and I thought that I could spend forever like that. But now Regina is talking to you again, and while I trust you completely and I know that you're still working to trust her in the first place, that doesn't mean that things wouldn't happen eventually.

You and Regina… you're those two people that anyone who is observing can just tell that you guys are it. It doesn't matter if it happens next week, or next year, it's still inevitable. The Savior and the Evil Queen, sharing a son and falling in love," Lily let out a watery laugh. "There's no place for me in that."

"Lily," Emma said, tears falling down her own face. "I'm so sor-"

"Don't apologize," Lily interrupted. "You can't help it. Henry brought me here to help you out, and I think that I did that. We were happy for a while, right?"

"Yeah," Emma nodded, "It was the happiest I had ever been since…"

Lily nodded as well, knowing that Emma was talking about Regina.

"We can still stay friends, right?" Emma asked, her eyes wide and vulnerable. No matter how much this break up was hurting them both, that didn't change the fact that she didn't want to lose Lily in her life once again.

"Yeah," Lily finally said. "No matter how much it might hurt to not be with you… I don't think I could leave your little town now if I tried."

The two both let out little chuckles, tears still falling from their eyes. Emma leaned forward and gave Lily one last kiss as a goodbye, keeping her forehead pressed to Lily's afterwards. "I really do love you, you know. You're the best friend I've ever had."

Lily smiled, her eyes falling shut. "Me too."

They sat in silence for a minute, taking comfort in the familiarity of each other, and knowing that they would have this one last night together before everything would change once again. Eventually Lily fell asleep, no matter how hard she tried to stay up and watch over Emma. To keep her own self awake, Emma decided to write one last letter to Regina.

_Dear Regina,_

_Well… Lily and I just broke up. It was really hard, but somehow I still know it was the right thing to do. My heart is breaking, but I don't feel like a piece of me is missing… not like I did when you left. That scares me a little, how I know that everything she said about us was right, when I still don't fully trust you again. I think I might be getting there though, piece by piece._

_I'm not sure what I'll tell you about the break up. Lily and I said we would stay friends, and I think we both actually mean it. Even if it's not romantically, I think the two of us are connected, and I hope she finds the happiness she deserves in life. She always deserved more than me anyway._

_I also need to tell my parents… and Henry. The kid is so perceptive I'm sure he's noticed himself, but it will still be weird. I don't know if Lily will stay here until she finds her own place… I wouldn't be opposed, but that would probably make the break harder. There's just so much running through my mind, and so many things to do._

_I wish that I could talk to you about it. Not this letter version of you, but the real you. I know I can't though. Not without bringing up everything else that we're not ready to talk about yet._

_I also think, though, that this is going to be my last letter. If I am truly going to move on in my life, and start letting the past go, I need to let this go as well. I started these letters as a way to keep talking to you, and then I continued them because I just got used to it, and it was like telling a diary about my day, only the diary was the woman I used to love._

_You're not this diary though, Regina. And I'm not the same person I was when I started it. I know my value now, and while I was always independent, I have close friends in Lily and Killian and hopefully in the future I'll have you. And I hope that you finally believe that you're good enough as well, because you are._

_Maybe one day I'll even give you these letters to read, and when I do I'll know that I love you, and that you love me back. So I look forward to that day Regina, and everything that it entails with it. Goodbye for now,_

_Love,_

_Emma_


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! Only the epilogue left, coming tomorrow

**7 Months Later**

"Kid, come on, you're gonna be late for school!" Emma yelled from the kitchen of the mansion, where she had been eating breakfast with Regina. In the last months, things had relatively gone back to normal. Luckily Lily and Emma had stayed friends, and she was still living with Emma and Henry since Emma now tended to spend most of her time at the mansion. Nothing romantic had happened between the two yet, although their friendship and overall relationship with each other was greater than it had ever been.

"Do control the volume of your voice dear, not all of us want to be deaf by the time we're fifty," Regina snapped, the smirk on her face softening to blow.

Emma responded by sticking her tongue out at Regina like a child, with Regina just deepening her voice to a sultry tone and saying, "Don't stick out that tongue unless you intend to use it, Miss Swan."

Emma's eyes darkened, and she was just opening her mouth to answer when a groan came from behind them.

"Can you please not? I don't need to be hearing these things," Henry cried, with a hand thrown dramatically over his face, hiding the smile that was actually behind it.

While nothing had happened with Regina and Emma, things were certainly moving in that direction. The two had gotten much more bold with their flirting in the past few months, and Henry was just glad that they were spending so much time together again, but this time in a healthy way.

The two spent much of their time together, but Emma still made sure to make time for both Lily and Killian, while Regina had surprisingly kept her close relationship with Snow. Even more surprisingly was that Regina and Lily had formed a peculiar sort of friendship, when Lily expressed interest in politics and helping Regina out at the mayor's office.

"Get over it kid," Emma said, getting up from her chair at the kitchen counter and going to ruffle Henry's hair. "I know you've got your eyes on Grace, don't tell me you don't think about this stuff with her."

"Emma!" Regina scolded. "Don't be giving him ideas, he is much too young for that stuff."

"Yeah," Emma stage whispered to Henry, "That means keep the hickeys in non visible places."

Henry rolled his eyes at his mom, and ignored his other mother's exasperated gasp towards Emma. "Are we going to school or not?"

Emma heaved a great sigh, knowing the dramatics would put the smile on Regina's face again. "Alright slow poke lets get moving."

"I think I'm going to come with you today, if you don't mind," Regina said, causing Emma to look up in surprise.

"Of course," she replied with a soft smile. The two stared at each other for a moment longer before Henry cleared his throat loudly and stormed out of the house yelling a "Let's go!" behind him.

The walk to Henry's school was mostly filled with his chatter, as Regina asked him what they were doing in school and he responded with an English assignment that he was happy about. Regina was glad they he still loved to read and write, making English the one subject she never had to push him on, and something they could share together with a love for literature.

Emma, for her part, stayed silent and basked in the warm feelings she was getting from her family, her fingers occasionally brushing Regina's while they both pretended not to notice.

Once they dropped Henry off, the two made a silent agreement to walk to Granny's and sat down in their usual booth together. Regina was strangely silent, and Emma waited for her to speak, getting the feeling that it was important.

"Emma," Regina began. "Do you know what day it is?"

"Um," Emma scrunched her eyes, "Thursday?"

Regina rolled her eyes at the typical Emma answer. "Yes, but more important than that."

Her eyes implored Emma's, who seemed to have no idea what was going on but trying for the life of her to figure it out. Finally Regina blurted out, "It's been a year."

"What?"

"Since that night," Regina said. "It's been a year, and we've been through so much, and I like to think that our relationship has improved. And I think I've won your trust back? I mean I care about you so much Emma, and I value our friendship, but what I was really wondering is, well…"

"Oh my God, Regina, just spit it out!" Emma blurted, eyes tinged with both nervousness and amusement.

"Would you like to go on a date with me tonight?" Regina finally rushed out, in a manner that was so out of character for her, the real proof of how nervous she was at the prospect of Emma rejecting her.

Instead, Emma's entire face lit up as she leaned forward to grab Regina's hands with her own. "I would love to."

"Yeah?" Regina let out a big breath in relief.

"Of course," Emma said with a soft smile.

"Well… good," Regina finally said, as the two continued to grin at each other. They didn't say much more for the rest of their meal, just working out what time Regina would come pick Emma up before leaving for their respective jobs, neither one of them able to keep the smiles off of their face for very long.

….

Later that night, the smile was completely gone from Emma's face, as she tore through her closet frantically.

"I have absolutely no clothes at all! This is a nightmare, I might as well go naked!"

A low chuckle sounded from behind her as Killian lounged on her bed lazily, "I'm sure she would love that."

Lily, who was lying beside him comfortably, smacked his arm before finally getting off the bed with a grunt and joining Emma in the closet. "Calm down," she said, putting her hands on Emma's shoulders turning Emma to face her.

"But what if she hates my outfit," Emma practically whined.

"Yes, I'm sure your outfit will be the one determining factor of whether this woman wants to get in a serious relationship with you," Lily said sarcastically. "Not like she confessed her love for you months ago, and has been waiting for you to be ready this whole time."

Emma scoffed, "Whatever. I called you here so you could help me, so help!"

Ignoring the outburst, Lily just shoved Emma back into the room and onto the bed beside Killian before rummaging through Emma's clothes trying to find something acceptable.

Emma rolled over, burying her face into Killian's side while he patted her shoulder sympathetically. After a moment she looked up at him, squinting her eyes. "Why are you here anyway? I called Lily."

"Glad to know you appreciate my help, love," he said, deflecting the answer.

Her gaze narrowed, shifting back and forth between the two of them. "Were you two together?"

"You know we're friends," Lily said, her voice muffled as she kept shifting through clothing.

"Yeah but-"

Emma was caught off as Lily came back out, shoving a short black dress and red pumps in her face. She didn't, however, miss the slightly relieved expression crossing Killian's face. They would be sure to talk about that later.

"Go! Get dressed! Then we can at least try to get your face presentable," Lily commanded.

"You used to love this face," Emma said jokingly, making her way towards the bathroom to change and finally get ready for the date she had been waiting for, for over a year.

…

"Mom, calm down, you look great," Henry said, sitting on his mother's bed much in the same way as Killian had been at the loft. And this time instead of Lily, Snow was with Regina to help her prepare.

The woman in question was standing in front of her mirror, rubbing her hands over her slacks nervously. She had foregone one of her usual mayoral skirts and dresses for slacks and a button up shirt, thinking that Emma would appreciate it. Now though, she wasn't sure, and couldn't stop fidgeting with the outfit.

"Henry's right," Snow came up behind Regina, softly grabbing her hands to stop their movement. "Emma will love it."

Regina sighed, "I just really don't want to mess this up."

"You won't," Snow assured. "Emma has loved you for so long."

"Past tense," Regina said, remembering the way Emma had used it before.

"No," Henry piped up from the bed. "She's always loved you, Mom, but she was too scared to admit it. Now though, you guys trust each other more, so if you don't finally get together for good  _I_ might curse this entire town."

Regina pinched his cheek softly, rolling her eyes in a way that she had definitely gotten from Emma. He went to retaliate when Snow intervened.

"Children, children! We have a date to prepare for, come on." And with that she guided Regina towards her mirror once again to put on the final touches of her make-up before she would leave to pick up Emma, and everything would change.

…

"Wow," Emma breathed as she opened her door twenty minutes later to see Regina standing there, looking pretty shell-shocked herself.

"I could say the same to you, dear."

They looked each other up and down; both of their eyes darkening with barely concealed lust. The moment was broken, however, by a joking shout behind them.

"Get a room!"

Regina started, and looked behind Emma to see Lily and Killian sitting on the couch, clearly having been there for a while.

"I see you had help from your whole team," she said to Emma.

"As if you didn't call my mom immediately once I accepted," Emma scoffed, knowing Regina far too well.

Regina just smiled in response, conceding to the comment and holding out her arm for Emma to take. "Shall we?"

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Lily called behind them, the sound of Killian's responding laughter following them all the way down the stairs. They stopped in front of Regina's car, taking each other in once again.

"Hi," Emma breathed.

"Hi," Regina responded in kind, a soft smile overtaking her face. "You really do look lovely, dear."

Emma smiled, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and looking down as her cheeks stained with a blush.

Not wanting to embarrass Emma with any more comments, Regina finally just ushered her into the car, eager to start their date.

….

Three hours later they were sitting in Regina's car laughing while they were parked outside of Emma's apartment. The date had gone better than either of them had expected, the conversation never pausing and acting much like the dinners they had been having for the past few months now.

"I'm really glad we did this," Regina finally confessed when their laughter had died down.

"Yeah…" Emma trailed off. "Me too."

She had an almost uncomfortable look on her face, making Regina's heart start to race. "What is it?"

Emma sighed, "Lily and Killian thought I should tell you. Well… show you. Part of what happened while we were apart. And I think… I think after tonight I'm finally ready to do that."

She got out of the car, and motioned for Regina to follow her up to her apartment. She walked the stairs behind Emma slowly, almost dreading what she was about to find out. Once they walked into the apartment, she followed Emma to her room where the other woman pulled what looked like a small jewelry box from under her bed. Emma took a deep breath, before opening the box and shoving it towards Regina.

Slowly Regina took the box towards her, and looked inside. It appeared to be filled with pieces of journal paper, all scribbled with Emma's handwriting. When she looked closer she saw that they were letters… letters addressed to her.

"Emma," she breathed, looking up at the other woman with tears starting to fill her eyes.

Emma was steadfastly avoiding Regina's gaze and picking at her comforter nervously. "They were my mom's idea, she told me that I should write you letters… that they would help me feel better. So I did," she finally looked up, making eye contact with Regina, "I wrote you one letter a day, up until Lily came. Then I wrote them less, but I still couldn't stop completely. I couldn't stop myself from wanting to be apart of your life, from wanting to talk to you. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't forget you, Regina."

Regina could hardly see Emma now, with her eyes so blurred over with tears. "Can I… read them?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yeah," Emma nodded, a bit of her regular sarcastic tone coming back. "You didn't think I just brought you up to see them without letting you read them?" She reached across the bed to take one of Regina's hands. "They're yours Regina, yours to keep. I don't need them anymore."

They smiled at each other, tears rolling down both of their faces.

"Do you mind if I…?" Regina gestured towards the letters, wanting to read them immediately.

Emma shook her head, "No, that's fine. I can go call Henry? Tell him to stay at my parents for a little while longer?"

Regina just nodded, eyes already scanning the first letter, so Emma left her alone to read them in peace, going to call their son and update him on what was happening.

Leaning back against one of Emma's pillows, Regina took a deep breath and started to read all of the letters. The first few were so dark, so angry and sad that Regina almost felt like she couldn't breathe, thinking about how much pain she had put Emma through. She never pegged Emma for a writer, but some of the letters were filled with so much raw emotion that it was almost as though she were in those moments with Emma, feeling what she had been feeling.

The letters got lighter once she met Lily, but there was still the confliction there, something that Regina never quite wanted to acknowledge. They were all friends now, but she still had a part in breaking the two women up, something she still felt a bit of guilt over.

The letters were dwindling; as Emma had been spending more time with Lily and less inside of her own thoughts. And then came the letters after the accident, and Emma's feelings regarding the two of them talking again. She couldn't believe that Emma had entrusted her to read these, knowing that even though they were addressed to her they were still Emma's deepest thoughts. Her heart swelled with love, gratitude that she didn't even know how to express filling her body.

Finally she got to the last letter that Emma wrote, her heart stopping at the last paragraph.

" _Maybe one day I'll even give you these letters to read, and when I do I'll know that I love you, and that you love me back."_

She let out a small gasp, her eyes shooting up to find Emma now standing in the doorway watching Regina closely. She didn't know how long Emma had been standing there, but she was clearly waiting for the reaction to the last letter.

Slowly Regina put the letter down and got up from the bed, moving towards Emma. Her hands reached up, shaking slightly to cup Emma's cheeks, looking deep into the other woman's eyes, as though she could read her thoughts.

"Emma," she finally choked out, "Do you mean it?"

Tears were falling down Emma's face, nerves evident along with traces of hope as she finally nodded her head. "I love you," she said, her voice breaking on the words. "I never stopped Regina."

"I love you too," Regina cried out. "And I'm so sorry for everything I put you through I-"

Emma crashed their lips together, finally releasing the tension that had ultimately been building for over a year cut off her words. They moved together seamlessly, as though they had been together for all their lives and this wasn't their first kiss. Emma was surprised a burst of magic hadn't actually filled the room, a shock basically running through her own body as her lips touched Regina's.

Finally the two slowed down and broke apart, but kept their foreheads still touching.

"I forgive you," Emma whispered, uttering the words that had been avoided since they began building their relationship once again. "And I love you."

"I'm still sorry," Regina said, a bit flustered from her former apology being cut off. "And I'll try my hardest to never hurt you again."

The two came together in a kiss once more, sealing their love and finally feeling like the missing pieces in their heart came back together, once again whole.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally at the end :) Thank you SO so much to everyone who has reviewed this story, I didn't reply to everyone but know that I appreciated each and every one. And I hope you all enjoyed it!

**1 Year Later**

Dear Diary,

… I can't believe I just did that. Well, I guess I'll have to start these entries off somehow. So, Diary… it's now been a year since Regina and I officially got together, and I can honestly say that I have never had a happier year in my life. However, as part of Regina's anniversary present, she would like me to fill this diary with entries of our life together, since in her words my writing is "eloquent" and "memorable." I think she's full of crap, but I guess we'll see.

Also with the amount of pictures she took at our wedding and since then, I can't imagine what my entries will have to add to all of the photographic evidence.

Oh wait, that's right, you did read that correctly dear Diary—Regina and I are married now. It only took six months for her to pop the question (in a goddamn  _letter_ might I add—and no I did not cry—really—you can't prove a thing), and since both of us are incredibly impatient, we were able to have the wedding a month later.

Good thing too, considering Regina is now  _pregnant_. Seriously, pregnant. I mean I knew my magic was powerful but damn—magic babies? I may have fainted when she told me. But the important thing is that my trust in her never wavered, so I keep reminding her that I should be getting some extra points for that. It must have been during one of our, ahem,  _methods_  of relaxation during wedding planning, since she's about four months along now.

I'm terrified, Diary, I really and truly am. I mean, sure I'm a mother to Henry, and I have all of Regina's memories from raising him, but that's different from actually, you know,  _raising a child_. I know I'm going to screw this up somehow and Regina will probably leave me forever and everything will go downhill again…. Just kidding. Kind of. (This kind of insecurity is also possibly supposed to be helped by these entries, since I won't go to Archie. But come on, he was a cricket in a past life and there's no way he can help me with my problems).

I hope this baby is a girl though… one that takes after Regina—both her looks and her fiery attitude. I know she's worried about having a girl, not wanting to become her mother, but this would be a great opportunity for her to truly believe how wonderful she is.

And wonderful isn't even enough to describe her. In the past year we've been together, I've fallen more in love with Regina than I ever would have thought possible. She challenges me in all the best ways, and I know that I have her whole heart, just as the way she has mine.

So marriage… babies… it's all pretty scary until I remember that I do have Regina by my side, and she won't let me fall.

Alright, this is getting a little too sappy, Diary. Plus I have to go and find my wife because I may have left her during preparations for an end-of-summer barbecue. Oops. I'll see you soon… friend? I don't know how this diary thing is even supposed to work. I guess we'll figure out the specifics, as it gets closer to the baby coming.

Okay… I really am going to go now.

-  _Emma_

* * *

 

"Emma!" a slightly annoyed voice yelled up the stairs.

"Coming, I'm coming!" Emma called back, hastily shoving the diary in her bedside drawer, taking a moment to check herself over in the mirror before heading down to help her wife. She had only gone up to change, but when she saw the diary still laying on their bed, she just couldn't get it out of her mind to start on the first entry.

It was weird at first, not writing to Regina. She talked to Regina everyday now, and she kept no secrets from her wife so she wasn't sure what the point of this diary would be, but she thought she could see the appeal now. Certainly it would be nice to look back on in the future when they were hopefully past all the craziness of their lives.

Although knowing their family, that would never really happen.

"What can I do?" Emma asked, finally coming up behind Regina and resting her hands on her wife's slightly rounded belly.

While she thought Regina was attractive before, it was nothing compared to how she looked while pregnant. Emma hated the cliché about pregnant women having a "glow," but that really was the only way to describe Regina. Pregnancy fit her, and she could tell that Regina was beyond excited to get the chance to experience it—even feeling closer to Henry as a result.

Regina leaned back into her wife for a moment, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath to relax. "Your father already has food starting on the grill in the back, and I think your mom is trying to get your brother to play some game with Henry. Although what a three year old could play with a fifteen year old is beyond me," Regina scoffed.

"You love when Henry plays with my brother and you can't wait for him to play with our baby so don't even try it," Emma scolded, lightly pinching Regina's side and giving her wife a kiss on the cheek when she tried to squirm away.

"How is our little bean, anyway? You're feeling okay?" Emma asked seriously, turning Regina to face her to look in her eyes.

"I'm perfectly fine dear," Regina replied, cupping Emma's face. "Now stop worrying and call Lily, her and Killian are the only ones we're waiting on." She gave Emma a quick peck before striding to the kitchen and out the doors to join everyone outside.

Emma rolled her eyes, pulling out her cell phone. Ever since Lily and Killian had officially gotten together a few months ago, it seemed as though they could hardly be pried apart. Secretly Emma didn't mind though, happy that both of her best friends had found happiness with each other—and they fit much better than they ever would have with Emma herself.

"You guys better be on your way, or I can't save you from the scary pregnant lady that is awaiting you for showing up late," Emma said when she (of course) got Lily's voicemail.

She then moved to the backyard herself, just slowly taking in the scene in front of her. Regina was with David by the grill, watching closely over his shoulder to make sure he didn't do anything wrong, but also smiling and joking around with him like she never would have a few years ago.

Henry was gently kicking a soccer ball around with Neal, trying to help the little boy get the coordination of playing and sometimes just picking him up and spinning him around to get the boy into a giggling fit. The sight warmed Emma's heart, making her ache for the next 5 months to go by quickly so she could see for herself how could he would be with his new baby brother or sister. She also secretly hoped the first thing he would read to them would be his storybook, now put away but never forgotten.

Finally an arm came around her waist, her mother appearing at her side as the last person at the barbecue. Emma leaned into her, reveling in the comfort she could now get from her mother, finally accepting her parents as her parents and not really caring about the age gap (or lack thereof) between them.

"You look happy," her mom said, looking at her with a soft smile, her green eyes so like Emma's own glowing.

"I am," Emma said. And for once in her life, she was truly the happiest she had ever been, and she didn't think anything could ever change that again.


End file.
